You Light Up My Life

I. Literally. SCREAMED. Out. Loud. When I saw this in the Diamond Previews catalog! Are you fucking kidding me?! This is like... something the universe created JUST! FOR!! ME!!! Dazzler!!!

Like OMG!!! AND, she comes wearing a real crystal necklace and standing atop a real disco ball! That is the gayest thing ever! Apparently, there was a poll online for fans to vote for whether she would have her pupils visible, but as you see, they aren't, which is how she looked in her earlier comics anyway. Who's looking at her eyes? It's all about the crazy long hair, the silver catsuit, the KISS makeup and whatever gay dance anthem plays in your head as you stare at her magnificence! (I've chosen "It's Raining Men" but feel free to select your own.)

I'd kill a baby to own this. I don't fucking care how much it costs! Eleventy gajillion dollars? Here! Take it!

The only thing better would be... heeeeeey, didn't Tonner just start making Marvel dolls?! (Why yes they did, I have their Ms. Marvel!) Tonner! Make a Dazzler doll! NOW!!! (And Fire-Star too, if you feel like it!)

Weekend Extra - Marvel Universe Toy Line

I was going to write this yesterday, but... just... didn't get around to it.

Anyway, Hasbro has the license to Marvel Comics' super hero characters, including the movie versions. This was the first wave, which came out last year.
Being a DC, not a Marvel, this didn't do a whole lot for me, but they just happened to arrive at a point where nothing else new was coming out so I bought some. The nice thing about Hasbro making them is that they are in scale with their existing toy lines, GI Joe and Star Wars, so you could theoretically mash them up and have the Silver Surfer flying alongside Darth Vader's Tie Fighter or The Punisher could team up with Snake-Eyes and fight some ninjas.

I will say this though, there were some RUFF quality issues. The paint on them looks like it was applied by Jackson Pollack's talentless nephew... with cataracts. And the plastic used is softer and more rubbery than that on the GI Joes I grew up playing with. Also, and it's hard to tell by the picture, but The Punisher and Black Panther, for whatever reason, have completely different body types than the others, with more limited movement. On the Punisher, #1. I don't care because I'm not a fan, but #2. He's not necessarily the most flexible character out there, but The Black Panther IS! That's his sole shtick, being super acrobatic! So why is he LESS poseable than The Human Torch?!

Speaking of The Human Torch, he was the biggest misfire in the batch. (Get it? Misfire? Okay, sorry.)He was released like this, as plain ol' Johnny Storm! They did a variant "Flame On!" version which was the rare chase version. Who wants the Human Torch un-Torchy?! Plus, the figure looks like ass on top of that!
The variant fiery Torch LOOKS cool in the pic, translucent and all, but it turned out pretty shitty in real life too, so I passed. I wasn't going to pay extra for a rare alternate figure when I didn't even LIKE it!

So I quickly realized, "Yeah, not collecting these!" But I was still willing to pick up a few here and there, if they were characters I particularly liked or were big names. I realized as more of them were released, usually the first batch to hit stores were always jacked up and shitty. You had to wait for suckas to buy them and for follow-up cases to arrive to get ones that were worth owning.I was quite happy when early on they released Ms. Marvel, not just in her modern costume, but also a variant version in her first costume!
Luckily, mine does not have a jacked up mask like this one! Also, I think I lucked out and found both in an actual store, so I didn't have to order them and pay extra. But by and large, I backed off this collection.

Then, recently... I guess nothing else was coming out again, so I bought a couple more.I found a two-pack of classic Thor and The Enchantress. Thor's a biggie and I didn't have him and the one I found had a nice paint job, so I bought it. When I opened it, though, The Enchantress was BROKEN in half! (I snapped her back together, but still!) I think my reaction was, "God these suck ass!"It was annoying when they made A Spider-Woman figure, it was of the one no one liked, Julia Carpenter, instead of Jessica Drew, the REAL Spider-Woman!
Even so, I guess ANY Spider-Woman is better than no Spider-Woman, so I bought that one too.
I wanted the two-pack of Storm in her 80s mohawk look with Nightcrawler, but like I said, the first batches always look like shit, so I couldn't bring myself to buy it until I found it later and it was better painted.

I love Storm, so I'm glad to have her in any look, but I am glad that they've revealed that a version of her is coming out in her classic costume. Jessica Drew Spider-Woman too!

Hey, look at my stormy, stormy ass!

And then, AW HELL, I just started buying them all! Well, not ALL, but bunches and bunches!
It was like, "Well, I GOTTA have Dr. Doom! He's the Big Bad of the entire Marvel Universe!"
"Magneto! I gotta have Magneto! And Cyclops! I have all these other X-Men, I need Cyclops!"Then it was like, "A decent Human Torch? I need that! And now I have almost all of the Wrecking Crew, so I need Thunderball... or Powerball or whatever his name is." Fuckers!

I will say, one of my favorite things about these toys is the attention to scale.
I mean, in the comics, all the characters aren't the same size, but in most toy lines, they are. The Hulk is a massive monster and Spider-Man is usually drawn really skinny and wiry and then Captain America has that typical muscular super hero body, but then you have like Thor who is larger than that, but smaller than The Hulk or The Thing!


They actually pay attention to that in this line, so you have figures of The Hulk and The Thing who are just massive and hefty and chunky. You have the normal muscular Captain America.
In between, you have Thor and Colossus. Also, while it's not always consistently depicted, Wolverine is supposed to be really short, like 5'5" or something and that's accurately depicted in this line. And Spider-Man and the Human Torch are leaner than Cap and some of the other males.

This line is clearly marketed to adult fans. I kinda think ALL action figure lines are nowadays. I rarely see kids buying action figures, but I see adults rifling through the Star Wars figures all day long. Plus kids don't read anymore, so they don't know who a lot of these characters are.

This is totally an adult collector thing. They make Henchmen.
This is a random AIM Soldier. Early on they made Hand Ninjas.
I think there are also Agents of Hydra out there. They even sell them in boxed sets, so you can send an army of them against your super heroes. That's the idea anyway. It's not something I'm into, but I know other collectors are. One thing I find kind of annoying about them is that they are heavily packed because they expect collectors to want a bunch of them, but I don't think they sell well, so they kinda clog up the pegs and sit there and of course stores don't reorder until they're all gone, so the newer figures don't arrive because these suckers are taking up space!

Oh, back to the matter of scale, they did the COOLEST thing. They issued an in-scale Galactus figure!

They even did a version that simply came on a backing card like the rest of the toys! (I didn't get that version. Mine came in a box.)Just THE!! NEATEST!!!

One thing I'm starting to notice is that given time, they will release every version of a character a fan might want.
I bought this modern version of Luke Cage, because I figured it would probably be the only one they made, but nope! They're also doing classic "Power Man" Luke Cage and Iron Fist!
Which makes me glad I passed on the modern Iron Fist when he came out.
I like The Sub-Mariner, so I'd buy any version of him they did. As expected, the mass market Sub-Mariner is wearing his black costume, but they did a classic nearly-nekkid version as part of an exclusive boxed set.
I managed to buy one from someone who bought the boxed set but was selling off the figures piecemeal!

On problem now is, which VERSION of the big TEAMS do I want. Like, I bought Archangel but most of the rest of my X-Men figures are from earlier in the 80s, so he doesn't fit. Kitty Pryde and Colossus are in their modern costumes, but they look enough like their 70s-80s costumes, that it's close enough for me. I bought modern Havok, but I haven't even bothered opening him, since I don't have any more modern X-Men characters. Jean Grey was released in her 90s costume (and looks like shit, so PASS!). They're issuing a 90s Cyclops, but I'll probably pass on him, too. I want a Rogue, but which version of her will they make? Hopefully one that will fit in with the rest of my figures! I'd also like a Professor X, but he might be a hard sell.
I want The Vision from The Avengers, but he's selling for like $40 and up! Fool, you is straight trippin'! He came out after I'd sworn off them and was part of a poorly distributed assortment that I don't think stores ordered many of, so now he's hard to find. Boo!

Now it's a waiting game for them to get around to making certain characters. Like right now, I have the Fantastic Three, since they haven't yet issued the Invisible Woman.

Look at my nearly invisible ass before it disappears!

And yeah, I could just pretend she's there and invisible but that only gets you so far.
I have The Hulk, Sub-Mariner and The Silver Surfer, so now I need Dr. Strange to complete the four core members of The Defenders.Of course with my love of obscure characters, there are a few I am hoping they make but I'm not holding my breath. I'd kill for the other three regular Defenders, Valkyrie, Hellcat and Nighthawk. Especially Hellcat! She's one of my faves!
I'd love the female Captain Marvel as she appeared in the 80s, with that giant-out-of-style-even-at-that-time afro. Her most likely shot at getting made would have been the Secret Wars two-packs, but I think they're done with those, so her likelihood of appearing plummeted. They may make her, but it'll probably be as she appears now.
Also, she's apparently now part of the "no code names" club. Lately, she's been listed as simply Monica Rambeau in her comic appearances.

Foxy Brown. I mean, cyborg detective, Misty Knight.She and her partner Colleen Wing are like the female Luke Cage and Iron Fist! Make it happen Marvel! (Also, if they made the classic Captain Marvel, I'm sure they can tweak her head to reuse as Misty's!) Also, I think her cyborg parts were made by Tony Stark! Does that mean maybe she can be part of the Iron Man franchise? That would KICK ASS!!!Speaking of two-packs, if I ruled the world, I'd already have a set of Dazzlers, in her 70s ferocity and...

...Let's Get Physical 80s look!

Well, I said I wasn't holding my breath, but considering they've made Mary Jane Watson, Union Jack and TWO Captain Britains, I wouldn't say anything is out of the question with this line! Well played, sirs. You have me!

Wonder Wednesday 08-11-10 Top Ten Goofy Super Costumes I Love!

Pretty self explanatory title...

10. Aquaman

Now Aquaman's costume is arguably my favorite, all-time super suit. This being the case, why is it all the way down at number 10? It's because I really don't find it that goofy-looking. People question the orange shirt, but I think he rocks it out. It looks great and always contrasts with the other super heroes gathered around him. And the colors just really work, the orange, yellow and green... and importantly, the black trunks. Very often, artists these days render him as wearing just solid green tights with no contrasting black trunks, but I think those add a lot! The people that don't like this suit are just conformists who are afraid to stand out.

Quick honorable mention to his short-lived blue camouflage uniform from the 80s. Striking and dynamic, it was probably a bitch to draw over and over, so while people loved this costume, it lasted only four issues.

9. Alan Scott, the Original Green Lantern

I just love the audacity of calling yourself the Green Lantern and wearing a costume that isn't primarily green! In fact, the color selection, green, red and purple is nearly nightmarish, but for whatever reason, I dig it. The maniacal design doesn't just end with the crazed palette, either. There just so much going on! The billowy red top, the inexplicable yellow ribbons crisscrossing his boots... it's ballsy but he seems to wear it with complete conviction, so Wurq It, GL!

Another honorable mention to GL's fellow Justice Society member, Jay Garrick, the original Flash. His costume isn't nearly as outlandish as GL's, but that silver winged Mercury helmet is a CLASSIC! I love it! Can that be comfortable? How does he keep it on, when running at super sonic speed? Hmmm?

8. Zatanna (80s Costume)

This is one of those where it's a classic because that's what she looked like upon my first discovering her and for many, many years afterward. Originally, she wore a stage magician's uniform complete with fishnet tights and a top hat. For whatever reason, this is the costume that seems to most resonate with fans. (I'm playing dumb. I know the reason.) But when I started reading comics, she hadn't worn the stage magician look in years and I don't think she reverted back to it until maybe the late 90s or early 00s. So when I think of Zatanna, I conjure this image:

Once again, a whole lot going on! Designer, George Perez, has even admitted that if he had it to do over again, he'd have simplified it a little. Actually, this costume is supposed to resemble a magician's tux, but I don't really see it. What I do see is a red serpent on top of her head, red flares on the sides of her face, frisbee-sized earrings adorned with a "Z" (decades before Carrie Bradshaw made monogramming cool!) and huge, billowy bell sleeves. Yeah, it's a bit much, but it's one of those things where it was my first exposure and therefore will always be my favorite! Also, I like the white cape and the contrast with the rich blueness of her top. It's busy, but not garish.

7. The Shocker (NOT THAT ONE!!!)

The classic Spider-Man villains were all pretty uniquely designed, as was Spider-Man himself, illustrated by innovator Steve Ditko. They certainly didn't look like any other super folk around and still don't. Those hash marks all over his body are supposed to indicate that his suit is insulated to protect him from his vibrational wrist... uh, weapons. The color choice, yellow and brown... gah! That would look horrible in real clothes, like a rotting banana, but on a super suit... eh, I kinda like it.

6. Electro

TWO Spider-Foes in a row! Electro's costume is RIDICULOUS!

The yellow and green together are gaudy enough, but then throw in the jagged lightning bolt designs AND top it all off with that CRAZY-ASS lightning star mask and you start wondering what they were smoking when they created him! I think it's the bold but basic colors that first caught my eye. There aren't very many characters who rock these colors together, so it is unique to say the least.

5. Firestorm

EVERYONE makes fun of this suit. I've heard it compared to a Brazilian Flamenco dancer's costume! It's the poofy sleeves. I get it. But... I mean... that's just... how he looks! That's his costume! It always has been, so... I mean, just deal with it!

Plus, I mean, it's light years better than the costume he adopted in the 90s:

How boring is that? Luckily, he eventually went back to the classic costume. Then he died. Unrelated.

4. Power Man and Iron Fist

Everyone knows how much I love this duo! The original super bromance! You may have noticed poofy sleeves and the color yellow have become recurring themes. What can I say, I like vibrant colors and flowy breathable fabrics. With Luke Cage (Power Man), many question the inverted tiara. I don't really have a problem with it. His head would look kinda naked without it, plus it balances out the chain belt and metal wrist bands. And like I said, I like vibrant colors. I don't even mind the fact that he keeps it unbuttoned down to there! In real life, it would probably look silly, but he could leave it all the way unbuttoned and he'd still be wearing more fabric than most female super heroes.

Iron Fist's costume is also questionable. Not just a deep V-neck but one with a huge pointy high collar... paired with a sash belt and slippers! SLIPPERS! Oh and I forgot to mention the Capri-length tights. But, like with Firestorm, that's just how they look! They wore those costumes for decades! These days, Luke Cage just wears regular street clothes. BOO! Iron Fist wears a suit with full neck. Neither is as distinctive and definitive as these classic suits, though.

3. Robin (Classic)

Once again, this is how he looked for decades! YES, it is silly! The bare legs are just ridiculous! And pixie boots? And while, I suppose chain mail briefs probably DO add a nice degree of protection to the area where you most need it, it's still... GEEZ! Really?! Lovely gams, though! Do you think he shaved, waxed or used Nair?

Like Green Lantern above, an almost nightmarish color scheme, like Christmas with a splash of raincoat. But, y'know this is just how he looked! This is the classic Robin costume! No one will ever wear it again, of course. The modern Robins (both of 'em) are pretty much all covered up.

But wait. There's more. The Batman writers really didn't want anything to do with Robin. They thought he was an antiquated concept in a ridiculous costume, so in the late 60s, they shipped him off to college and had Batman work, more or less, solo. In the early 80s, Marv Wolfman and George Perez, the creators of the New Teen Titans, took Robin in, made him leader of the team... and their book became DC's best selling. Robin was suddenly as popular as Batman himself! Part of the appeal was Robin's quest for his own identity, as a separate, capable hero and not the second half to "Batman & _____." With his soaring popularity, suddenly the Batman staff wanted him back in their books.

As a compromise, they were given "Robin"... but not Dick Grayson. They introduced a new Robin, Jason Todd, originally an almost exact carbon copy of Dick Grayson, right down to the slain family of circus acrobats origin. (Later revamped as a street punk orphan.) The Teen Titans creators established a new identity for their star, Nightwing.

Nightwing was and still is a hugely popular character on his own. His costume has been revamped and streamlined several times, and sadly, with time, people have come to regard his first solo costume as "disco Elvis." It's the wide fan collar and the deep V-neck. But Dick Grayson had become a bit of an illustrated sex symbol (as nearly half of TT's readers were women!) and George Perez wanted to give them a little skin, since he was covering up his legs. Plus... I mean V-necks never really went out of style! People wear them in real life all the time, so why make fun of it in a super hero costume?

I really like the color scheme, too. I like the two blue tones. You rarely see two shades of the same color in a costume. Then the yellow adds a contrasting pop. The lines are also more ornate and unique than those in most super hero designs. I dunno, I think it you maybe modified the collar, maybe made it more like a banded collar on a motorcycle jacket, it could still work today, but I guess this costume's time has passed.

2. Dazzler

What can I say? I love a good Catsuit.

Finally...

1. Supergirl (70s and 80s Version)

For years, Supergirl wore a feminized version of her famous cousin's costume, with a blue skirt instead of tights. In the late 60s, with the Mod explosion, she became very innovative by being the first hero to adopt many different costumes, wearing nearly a different suit on each mission she went on. But as the super heroes became more marketable, DC needed to establish one look for her, so that she could appear on various licensed products, so they essentially adopted this version of her costume, but with a few differences.

Originally, she sported shorts with frayed hems (ie Daisy Dukes) and rather than boots, she wore slippers. This look was tweaked into what she looked like when I first became aware of her. Once again, this was my first exposure to her, so this is my favorite costume of hers. It's also one of my favorite costumes ever! The billowy blouse was distinctive among the other super heroines. The idea of having a small logo off to one side rather than a large S shield in the middle of her chest also helped differentiate her from Superman. And the choker was just a nice fashionable touch.

Once again, she sported this outfit for years! In the 80s, with a live-action Supergirl movie pending, DC revamped her to make her more current. Unfortunately... it was the 80s and this is what resulted. Headband, perm and huge shoulder pads. (In the comics, the shoulder pads weren't very pronounced, but check out Helen Slater in this version of her costume in the unused test footage shot for the movie and she looks like she might have borrowed this suit from Bea Arthur.) And then, Supergirl died. Unrelated... or was it?
Since this is the costume she was wearing when she died, it's become immortalized. Also, since so much of DC's licensing artwork is drawn from this period of time, this is the version of her that has appeared on more licensed products than any other! Odd, considering what a laughing stock most people consider it!

So there ya have it! Maybe sentimentality trumps good taste, but I love all these costumes! So Nyah!