Cute Overrides Evil

I don't know if I'd call it a pet peeve exactly, but why am I the only one who recalls that Tinker Bell is actually kind of a villain? I mean, there's all this merchandising and she's this beloved icon, starring in her own line of movies (and dolls, and costumes, and makeup, and clothing, and...) and I saw part of the first movie and THAT'S NOT THE SAME CHARACTER! She's all sweet and hard-working and loyal... in Peter Pan, she was a rotten mean little bitch, who tried to get the Lost Boys to shoot Wendy out of the sky with arrows and teamed up with Captain Hook, which almost got Peter poisoned!

Not that Peter was without his faults. He was one of my favorites growing up, but I think that was just because he was basically the only Disney boy (not counting those lame-ass princes)... keep in mind, this was before Aladdin and Hercules and the rest. Now when I watch, he's like this gleefully ignorant brat. Sigh. Rose colored glasses.

Also, I was so annoyed when I was IN Peter Pan when I was a kid and found out that in the play, Tinker Bell wasn't an actual character, just a little beam of light who "spoke" via jingling bells. Now don't ask me how I thought an actual performer was supposed to be like six inches tall and flit around the stage, but I guess I did. Also, am I the only one who hates seeing Peter Pan as a play and him being played by old women? Not just him, I think Michael and John were also women in the most recent version I saw. I can suspend disbelief a certain extent, but for whatever reason, that's a sticking point for me. You wouldn't put on Annie with grown MEN playing the orphans would you? (Oh, that would be AWESOME!)
But I mean, I guess everyone can be forgiven, since Tinker Bell was rumored to be Walt Disney's favorite creation.... well, you know what I mean. This version of her. He spent more time and money developing her appearance than any other character. Urban legend has it, Marilyn Monroe was an inspiration, but I think that's just a rumor. And she is cute as all hell! So money and time well-spent. He used her as the mascot to his TV series, The Wonderful World of Disney, which I remember watching every Sunday evening as a child. It's one of those bitter-sweet memories-- I enjoyed the show, but knew that Sunday night was the most depressing night of the week, because it meant the weekend was over.

Like I said, she's now a headliner in her own right, starring in a series of direct-to-DVD movies. In the latest, she adopts this UBER-KEWT autumn look:
Just as I collect black dolls, Cathy collects redheads, so I got her the doll of Tinker Bell's redhead friend Rosetta.

(L-R, Fawn, Silvermist, Tinker Bell, Iridessa and Rosetta.)

I think Rosetta and Silvermist are the most popular, because the doll I got Cathy was from a collection which ONLY included those three. They rolled out a new assortment after Christmas with all the characters, including Iridessa whom I snatched up. They're so cute! I was vaguely annoyed though that most of them are wearing pretty dresses, but Iridessa is wearing a pantsuit. Pantsuit=Frumpy, note to Hilary Rodham Clinton. AND the jacket part of the suit has a sunflower seed as a clasp. None of the other girls has an unsightly "decoration" on their outfit. Ah well... even though this assortment had Iridessa and the other less-popular character Fawn, they only had one apiece, whereas there were at least two of the more popular girls.

I only bought Iridessa and fairly quickly, the rest sold out, except one Rosetta that I think is still there today. So then, the other day, I went in to buy some 75% off Valentine's stuff and they'd restocked the Tinker Bell dolls. I'd always wanted to get Tink herself, but she'd sold out too quickly, so I grabbed her. (C'mon! She has an adorable leaf should wrap!) I'd also wanted Rosetta, because she's one of the cutest ones, so I grabbed her too. Then I grabbed Fawn, because she's so rare, so if I didn't get her then, I'd probably never be able to! (I think she's the requisite "tom boy," judging by her freckles, because freckles = tom boy, which may be why she isn't as popular.) That only left Silvermist, who isn't as cute as Rosetta or Tinkerbell or as rare as Fawn or Iridessa... but I didn't want to have an entire set except for one! I though, well, I could get her later. But what difference does it make if I spent $10 then or two days later? NONE!
So $40 later, I have a complete set of Tinker Bell dolls! Well, not complete-complete, just this assortment-complete. I'm not going back and buying the older ones. I collect enough junk, thanks! This was kind of just an impulse buy. Now if they come out with another assortment, which they will, we'll see if I take the bait then. (Let's start placing bets now.)
I haven't even opened them, and I may not. I used to think it was stupid to buy toys and not open them, but I can't really think of what enjoyment I might get from opening them. I'm not really going to play with them. I just bought them because they're pretty... it's exactly like buying art, people! By keeping them in their packages, it retains their perfection... no matter how well you take care of collectibles, they still get a little bit of wear and tear just being out. In the case of action figures or statues or other "hard" items, it isn't that bad, but with dolls... their hair can get all messed up, and dust gets into their hair and the fibers of their clothing... and once dolls hair gets jacked, the doll is just over! It's better not to expose them to that. Trust me, I've lost PLENTY of dolls due to such unfortunate events. In fact, I had a WHOLE bunch in an open plastic container, and David was doing some hardware-y thing down in the basement and next thing I knew, I had a box full of RUINED, SAWDUST-COVERED GARBAGE! Some I replaced, but others, I just threw out, which I hated doing because a lot of them had been presents, but I'd kind of already gotten all the fun I was going to get out of them and didn't want to pay eBay prices to replace them, with that being the case.

The only dust I want to deal with is Pixie Dust. This way, my pixies stay pristine and sawdust (and regular dust)-free. So, yeah, I guess even though Tinker Bell is a villain, she's an adorable one, so no hard feelings! Besides, the evil villainess is my favorite character on a lot of shows! So welcome to the evil pack, Tink!

Bad Girls... toot toot! Beep beep!

Me = Strong Black Woman (Also, This Is What Happens When I'm Not Working And Have Too Much Time On My Hands.)

Teresa has this great story about how when she was a little girl, playing soccer, her parents bribed her by promising to buy her a Barbie every time she scored a goal. It apparently worked too well, and they quickly took away that incentive. I played soccer in first grade, back before they bothered assigning you positions and you just ran around Lord of the Flies-style. I remember when we practiced, they'd assign you shirts or skins, and while I am terrible at math, I managed to work it out so that I was always shirts. (Hey, this ain't called "Off My Bird Chest" for nuthin'!) ONCE, I got skins (I think there were some schenanigans involved) and talked my coach into letting me just flip my shirt into a halter, Daisy Duke-style. (Jesus, why is my life not a TV show on Logo?) Anyhoo, I like to joke that had my parents been as industrious as Teresa's and offered me the same reward, I'd now be the American David Beckham. And of course, not just any Barbie would do for me! I would insist upon...

Black Barbie!

I think I've discussed before, my odd-but-not-inexplicable fascination with African American women. I blame that on Eartha Kitt (Catwoman!), Nichelle Nichols (Lt. Uhura!) and Donna Summer (Toot toot! Beep beep!). They were among the first women I remember seeing on TV and they made quite the impression. "Hot Stuff" was the first song I learned the lyrics to... so there I was four years-old, singing about a bootie call. Occassionally, while wearing my mom's knee high seude disco boots. Yup.

So I ALWAYS wanted the black character in any toy set. IF there was one. Besides Star Trek, I don't recall any black woman in any boy toy lines, up until X-Men, but I was already in high school by then. (I mean, I still got her, but I was past the "playing with" stage.) I distinctly recalling desperately wanting Orange Blossom from Strawberry Shortcake. This one girl I knew had her. In fact, I think she had all of them and even that butterfly they rode around on. Everytime I went over to her house, I wanted to play with Orange Blossom, but her mom was one of those parents that didn't let other kids play with their kids' toys and all we could do was like color and watch TV. I'm sure playing outside was an option, but screw that. My parents were reluctant to let me get any girl toys. I did manage to get the Purple Pieman, because he was a male, and I also managed to squeek the whole She-Ra: Princess of Power line past them by convincing them that they were part of the He-Man line, which technically they were, just with long brushable hair and jewel encrusted weaponry. And a pink unicorn. By the time Jem came out, they had just given up.

When I moved out, I was free to buy whatever the hell I damn well pleased, so I promptly started buying all the Barbies I wanted. This is my favorite ever, Nichelle from the Generation Girls. I actually have all the Generation Girls. They were so cool! Nichelle was the best! She has THE biggest fro and it's like those kinky, coily curls! Also, this is a first edition. Shortly into the run, the made her fro smaller (I'm sure to cut costs).
This is one of my most recent acquisions, Barbie Loves Disco. I swear, this is the most fabulous I've ever seen in a cardboard box in my life! Sparkles, sequins and FEATHERS! Does it get any better? Heeeeeeelllll no!

So I was prowling Walmart, looking for my super heroes, but of course, I always stop in the girl's section too. (I also often wonder if, when people see me prowling the toy depatment, they think I'm a possible child molester. Be glad most of you don't have to worry about that.) So anyway, girl's toy department... then I spotted some new Barbies I'd never seen.
They are called So-In-Style and I quickly realized... it was a whole line of JUST black Barbies! (That's their designer, Stacey McBride-Irby.) Holy crap! I almost fainted! And sqeeled like a girl! Well, first the squeeling, then the fainting. It really doesn't make sense the other way. Oh I loooooove them! I love how they have different skin tones and facial features (although I think they are all pre-existing head molds). So just like real black women, you have the light skin ("high yellow"), medium and darker. Well... none of them has really dark skin. Occassionally, a manufacturer does a doll with really dark, nubian skin and I have yet to see one that looks very good. I mean, it's not the skin tone, but like... don't give a doll with skin that dark blonde hair! That just looks terrible.

I haven't actually bought one yet. That's because I was kinda too overwhelmed and had to back away slowly. There are three older girls, Grace, Kara and Trishelle. (REALLY, Mattel? No Keisha?! Think about it. Don't we all know like 50 Keishas? It's like the black Sarah.) The younger girls are... I don't care. They're all just Kellys in different skin tones. I mean, I like some Kellys, the ones in costumes and stuff, but not the plain, everyday clothes ones. So won't be getting those.

The older girls come in two formats. Either with

a"little sister" or with hair that you can make curly or straight! Mattel should make a Black Beauty Shop playset! And a Nail Shop... but then they'd have to make a bunch of Korean dolls for that. The fashions are cute... some are a bit hoochie for me, but I guess they do reflect the culture. I mean, I'm from the Dirty South, so I've seen more than my fair share of booty shorts... and that's just on the gays. Zing! No seriously, I've seen a ridiculous amount of law or medical students drop it like it's hot as soon as 2 Live Crew comes on.

I noticed in the pics, there's a boy doll as well. I don't think he's out yet, but I really hope he's not the exact same Black Ken/Steven doll they've been using for the past 20 years. There are probably hundreds of different female heads and even a couple different caucasian Ken heads, but there is exactly ONE African American male headmold at Mattel. What better line to introduce a new one? Uh, so anyway, yeah.

I meantioned my idol Eartha Kitt earlier. I'm very grateful to have seen her perform live, as Cinderella's Fairy Godmother several years ago and even have her autograph on a Playbill (Thanks, Richard's Mom!) and I was the ONLY one who got one! She came right out, signed that one Playbill and got in her limo. Divaliscious! And last year, I was delighted to find her Hollywood Walk-Of-Fame star and get this ferocious picture, which everyone's seen, but it never gets old. And sadly, she passed away a few months ago. I mean, she was about a billion years old... yet she could still stretch her legs over her head, but even so, sad clown. Tear.

Rrrrrraaaaaooooooowwwww!