Catch Up Day Mega Post

Sorry for the long hiatus, but I've been traveling and working and dealing with family issues. Let me do some quick catching up. First of all, for my make up for MANic Monday, today's featured hotness is a special selection, Australian Navy Diver Paul de Gelder. de Gelder survived an attack by a three-meter BULL SHARK in 2009, during a Navy training exercise, by punching the shark repeatedly... with his ONE remaining hand! That is the very definition of bad-assery! Not one to give up, de Gelder continues to surf and venture into the water and surprisingly, has become a shark advocate, speaking out against over-fishing! And he looks hot in his underwear!

The biggest news I wanted to comment on is NBC's decision not to pick up the much hyped Wonder Woman pilot. They certainly busted their asses trying to make it work, with all the retooling, having screenings in theaters to gauge audience reaction (which was basically, "Meh. It's no Smallville."). It's probably for the best, although I would still LOVE to see it. Hopefully, it'll be offered on iTunes or as a DVD extra on an upcoming release.

My reaction is honestly relief. I'm WAY okay with NO Wonder Woman versus terrible Wonder Woman or some nonsense that ISN'T Wonder Woman at all, but just using the name, which sounds like this was. I mean, I'm okay with open interpretation... you can't be slavishly devoted to the source material IF there are elements that may work in one medium and not in another.

There are a couple of issues that I wanted to address, though, which I have previously touched on, but they bear repeating. First... why IS there so much pressure on Wonder Woman? I actually see it with Green Lantern, too. There's ALL this pressure on Green Lantern's movie. There's so much scrutiny and speculation, whereas you don't really see that with ANY of the Marvel movies. People are just plain hyped and excited to see Thor (which, with all that I've been busy with lately, I still haven't!) and Captain America. And there's no pressure at all, beyond "Hope this doesn't suck!" They're just light, fun popcorn movies and that's all anyone wants out of them. It's funny because Marvel's typically licensed out their properties to other companies to actually film, so you'd think they'd have a harder time with it, whereas DC is owned by Warner Brothers which is one of the hugest names in entertainment, YET they struggle with their adaptations. The recent Batman stuff has been successful, but I and a lot of fans have problems with them. Superman Returns did disappointingly at the box office.
One thing is that one of the Top Dogs (tried looking up his name, but couldn't find it and it's not that important anyway) was disappointed in the "slow" sales of the Wonder Woman animated movie, so he declared that no more of these movies would star female heroes. This meant that a planned Batgirl: Year One movie was abandoned and that when the Supergirl-centric Apocalypse movie was released recently, it was entitled Superman/Batman: Apocalypse with Supergirl only depicted on the cover in her skanky "bad girl" costume from the part in the movie where Darkseid takes over her mind. These decisions are really arbitrary and knee-gut, it seems.

Green Lantern: First Flight also sold "slowly" so they declared that they would no longer make ANY of these animated movies unless Superman or Batman were the star and the recent shorts collection of PREVIOUSLY RELEASED material with the exception of a 20-minute Superman/Shazam team up also sold poorly, so they decided not to make any more shorts, even though those were fucking brilliant and better than the movies they led into! GL: First Flight sold slowly and ultimately sold fewer copies than Wonder Woman... yet who has a live-action, multi-million dollar movie coming out in a couple of weeks?

WHICH, brings us to the old "female super heroes don't sell" argument. Well, ABC picked up Charlie's Angels who had a successful live-action movie years ago (and one that was less-so), so at least someone thinks they do. Yeah, I can get that some would argue that the Angels aren't super heroes... they are at least action heroes. And what about Sarah Conner, Ripley and Lara Croft? But no, the only examples anyone ever lists are Catwoman and Elektra.

Can I point out that The Hulk has bombed TWICE now? Does anyone say, "Male heroes don't sell. Look at The Hulk and Ghost Rider and Jonah Hex and The Punisher!" Daredevil may not have tanked exactly, but it underperformed and everyone hated it. Yet, they're making another one! No one says, "Hmmm, The Hulk tanked. (TWICE!!!) There's something wrong with him. Let's make him more neurotic and give him body image issues and make him pine over his ex-girlfriend. Oh and can we set a scene to "Single Ladies." Oh and we should make his costume more concealing and practical."

The one "saving grace" is poor Superman Returns. It was the only time that a male hero was sort of subjected to the same objectification of a female, with so much focus on his looks, whether the film under-performed because people didn't like his costume and best of all, whether or not millions were spent making him more or less endowed. Yes, the movie didn't do well... but they're making a new one and yet, look at Wonder Woman. Hell, look at any female hero. NONE of them are even being given a SHOT! Because "female heroes don't sell." Uh huh.

This blog is all over the place, today! Okay, so Tonner continues producing their DC Stars line, even though I can't afford them and if I am not willing to spend the money on them, I don't see who IS! I mean, I am DC Heroine Fan #1 and I can't even justify them. I have the first several they made, the first Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Supergirl, Superman, Lois Lane, Aquaman and Mera. Wait... do I have Batman? I might. No, I don't think so. I even have THE LAST Storm, Aquaman's seahorse (not the X-Woman), it was their display piece at ComiCon that the guy from my comic shop convinced them to sell to him for me! Woop woop!

This line flies in the face of the "female heroes don't sell" mentality because not only are they still cranking them out, they're getting more obscure! The line started with the big names, but then they added a really impressive Hawkgirl, with real feathery wings.
Lately, they've added Starfire and have Raven (left) and Dove (above) in the works. You have no idea how much I want a fucking $200 Dove doll JUST FOR THE AUDACITY!!! Who in their right mind would pay $200 for a doll based on DOVE?! I'm gonna have to find a way to come up with that money! Do they still buy plasma? That Raven is really sweet too! Hey, whatever happened to that talk about Raven getting a TV show? I think that would rule!

Sigh, okay this is long enough! It's good to be back!

Wonder Wednesday - Top Female Avengers Who Deserve To Be In The Avengers Movie Over Black Widow

Marvel released the above image, I suppose to get fans pumped at the idea that The Avengers movie is inching closer to reality. I'm going to be in Chicago next week when Thor opens. How's that for shitty timing? Maybe I'll squeeze in a viewing when David and the boys are at the Reds/Cubs game, because I just love going to the movies by myself. But I feel like I need to throw my nerd dollars behind this movie as a show of support after what happened in Australia. Of course, I could see it anytime after I get back, but we all know it's opening weekend that makes the real statement and I hope Thor opens huge!

As for The Avengers, notice anything? Thor, Iron Man, Cap, Hulk. No mention of "the girl" Black Widow (or Hawkeye for that matter). But really? We're making this a boy's club? And as for their pick for "the girl," like I've said before, Black Widow is just one of those characters that I don't really care anything for. I've never really been into the spy thing, for one. She doesn't have any powers. Her only weapons are those wrist "venom" shooters. Okay, I get that she wears a sexy leather catsuit and is a redhead. (Trust me, I get the redhead thing. Ginger hair makes even a marginal guy hot. I'm still smarting that that cute ginger cowboy got kicked off The Amazing Race this weekend. Anyone?) I suppose she was used to good effect in The Ultimates. And I can see how she would appeal to filmmakers because... she has no powers, less CGI. They appear to be borrowing heavily from The Ultimates, with both she and Hawkeye being government super agents.

But if there's just going to be one "girl" on the team, the character Black Widow doesn't deserve to be the one.

First of all, this was the point during which she joined them... alongside Jocasta and the Two-Gun Kid and The Guardians of the Galaxy. And then she quickly got booted when the government initiated a seven member limit for the team. Long run there, honey. She's never to my knowledge returned for a lengthier membership, minus a recent gig on The Mighty Avengers pre-Secret Invasion.

On the other hand, there are more than a handful of female heroes who are synonymous with The Avengers! I could even make a case for Tigra, who isn't a major character and whose initial run on the team was only slightly longer than Black Widow's, but when the team set up a West Coast branch, she joined up and was a fixture for years and has constantly popped up whenever the call went out for reserve members to join in on whatever adventure required ALL the Avengers. When people look at Black Widow, they think, "That's the Black Widow. She's a secret agent. She dated Hawkeye and Daredevil. She was in The Champions and I think she was an Avenger at some point." When they look at Tigra, they think, "That's Tigra. She's an Avenger."

But Tigra's not on my list. I tried to whittle it down to just a Top Five, but I couldn't, so it's a Top Six.
6. Spider-Woman - Let's see, shady secret agent past, unclear alliances, spider-theme... notice any similarity to anyone? Yep, close to Black Widow, except, y'know with an awesome yellow and red super suit and super powers! Spider-Woman is a relatively recent addition to the Avengers, but she kicks ass and fans have embraced her. She can fly, cling to walls, fire venom blasts, has super strength and emits pheromones that can subtly influence people. Plus, her name is SPIDER-Woman. Spider-Man is already a household name and piggy-backing on his success gives her added cache. Except then you have to clarify that she isn't actually in any way related to him. But by then, you'd already have the movie-goers' money so shame on them for not doing their homework ahead of time.

5. The Scarlet Witch - In the comics, the second woman to join the team's ranks, she was also the "token female" for a number of years. She's been with the team off-and-on for DECADES and is one of two women most closely associated with the team. (You'll see who the other one is, but if you know anything about the team, you already know.) Drawbacks? Lengthy back story (she was secretly Magneto's daughter and served in his Brotherhood, battling the X-Men before she and her brother Pietro/Quicksilver joined the Avengers), unclear powers ("Hexes" she can affect probability) and kinda icky love-life (in the real Marvel Universe, she married an android, The Vision, in The Ultimates, she was romantically involved with her own brother, barf!).

4. Ms. Marvel - One of the most successful Marvel heroines in recent years, she co-led The Mighty Avengers alongside Iron Man and starred in her own series. A former Air Force colonel, trained spy and head of security for NASA, Carol Danvers has a government background which would have made it super easy to integrate her into the movie! And her powers, super strength, invulnerability, flight and energy projection would have really added some BAM to the team dynamics! Her "Ms. Marvel" identity was inspired by deceased male hero Captain Marvel, but her connection to him was tenuous and easily overlooked. Really no drawbacks, other than the fact that she first joined the team in the 70s, so having her appear in the movie as a founder is a bit of a stretch and might upset some die-hards. (Well, I'm a die-hard and I'd have been okay with it.)

But if we're going with Marvels, I'll go you one better and suggest...

3. Captain Marvel - A lieutenant in the New Orleans Harbor Patrol, she was bombarded with extraterrestrial energy and gained the ability to transform her body into any type of energy from light to x-rays to ultraviolet radiation and so on. She can also absorb and manipulate energy and fire powerful energy bolts. She joined The Avengers as a novice but her natural level-headedness and ability led her to be named leader by none other than Captain America himself! She served very long tenures on the team, leaving only occasionally and returning to assist the team frequently as they needed her.

Originally depicted as being very serious and work-minded, most recently writers have given her a sarcastic sense of humor and a "complicated" dating life. Doesn't every team need a "sassy black girl?" (He said sarcastically... but hell, why not just once have a female be the "comic relief?" Has anyone EVER done that? Make it happen, Marvel!)

Oh, PS... she's AFRICAN AMERICAN, unlike ANY of the other Avengers in the movie!!! Equality, ya'll!

2. She-Hulk - Oh Marvel... how many times will The Hulk fail before you quit trying to make him work? First movie? Failed. Second movie? Failed. (Although, I didn't think it was that bad.) Let's keep milking this horse and see what happens. Okay, like I said, they seem to be borrowing heavily from The Ultimates and of course Hulk featured prominently in that. But in the real Marvel continuity, The Hulk agreed to join the team at the end of Avengers #1 but then... changed his mind and never showed up to any of their meetings or bothered helping them ever.

Fastforward to the 80s and his cousin, the similarly powerful but intelligent She-Hulk joins The Avengers and sticks around for a number of years, with her sassy attitude and tough demeanor making her a hit with fans! She filled in for The Thing as a member of the Fantastic Four for a number of years and during that time continued scoring fan love until she was eventually given her own title, a rarity among Marvel females and, at the time, she was the only one. She became Marvel's flagship heroine, appearing on all kinds of merchandising along side Cap, Spidey, Wolverine and even her own cousin. Through it all, she's remained a constant in the world of The Avengers, returning to aid them on numerous occasions, while also maintaining a career as the (literally) biggest lawyer in New York City. C'mon, government super groups have legal teams, right? Easy in for joining the onscreen team and look Marvel... maybe people just don't care for The Hulk. Try something slightly different... making The Hulk a tough, sassy (and sexy) lady!

And finally, absolutely no surprise...

1. The Wasp - Why look, who is that above on the cover of The Avengers #1? Why the sole female founder of the team, The Wasp! The Wasp served valiantly alongside her male counterparts. When her boyfriend, Ant Man became jealous of the physical abilities of his comrades Iron Man and Thor, he tweaked his size-changing powers to become Giant Man, but The Wasp remained The Wasp, tiny heroine with antennae to communicate with bugs and wings. Yup, that's it! She didn't even have her patented bio-stings yet!

After all of the founders left the team for a time, she was the first to return and was a constant fixture on the team for DECADES, skillfully leading the team for many years.

What I love about The Wasp is she was always a "girlie girl." She was vivacious, flirty, loved shopping... she was constantly designing new costumes for herself. She also just seemed to love adventuring. Who wouldn't? Wouldn't being a super hero be like the funnest thing ever?! But super heroes never really seemed to enjoy it, except maybe Spider-Man. But Wasp clearly loved it and I loved that about her. (I don't know how I managed to type this with Captain America's star-spangled bulge over to the left. Wonder Man's package is pretty impressive too. Oh look, The Wasp is in the picture, too.)

NOT to say she was a ditz or ineffective. I DID say she led the team for years and years on numerous occasions. She was also one of the first divorcees in comics, leaving her abusive husband Hank Pym (Ant Man/Giant Man) after he betrayed the team. And in The Ultimates, she and Hank were both scientists working for the government, so there's your in in the movie universe. She may be flirty and "girlie" but she's a strong, capable woman... and she should be in this freakin' movie!

Wonder Wednesday 09-15-10 The 60s Marvel Super Heroes

It's not really fair to compare a made-for-tv cartoon series to the theatrical Fleischer Superman shorts of the 1940s. Those had a stellar budget and were meant to be shown in theaters, so the quality had to be higher. Cartoons actually meant to be aired on television, traditionally, don't measure up. NOWADAYS, there's some great stuff made for TV, but traditionally, not so much. Case in point, the 1960s Marvel Super Heroes series.


Now Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four had memorable shows that were done fairly well. Spider-Man is remembered mostly for its super catchy theme song, and despite his costume being simplified, it was pretty faithful to the quirky tone of the comics. And the Fantastic Four's series, produced by giants Hanna Barbera showcased stories adapted straight from the comics!The Marvel Super Heroes... well, they were taken straight from the comics... literally. They took the actual artwork from the comics and had them move their mouths or move a single limb. The results were stiff and static. Next to Crash Cargo, it was probably the strangest cartoon produced in the 1960s. The show was syndicated and aired on weekdays, showcasing a different character each day. Captain America led the charge on Mondays, followed by The Incredible Hulk on Tuesdays, Iron Man on Wednesdays, Thor on Thursdays (get it?) and finally, the Sub-Mariner on Fridays. YES! Thor and the Sub-Mariner had their own cartoon series!

The show is howlingly awful. The "animation" is practically nonexistent. The one positive is that they did adapt some classic Silver Age Marvel comic book stories and verbatim. Even so, it's a chore to sit through. In the 80s, random episodes were released on home video to be freshly discovered and mocked by a new generation of fans. The Hulk is the lucky one. He had a new, WELL-MADE cartoon in the 80s, so it was that series that saw release on video. His original series is the least seen, but the entire series had a DVD release at some point... I don't think it was sold in the US, though.


Like Spider-Man, the shows are mostly remembered for their theme songs. Each hero had their own:





The best thing to come from this series is a flood of merchandising featuring these second-stringers arriving on toy shelves alongside stalwarts like Spider-Man and Captain America.
No kid wanted to be THOR for Halloween! Oh and look, it's everyone's favorite super heroine, Mary Poppins!
Marx produced a line if small, single-colored plastic figurines of the super heroes. They are crude, but highly detailed:
And highly sought by collectors today.