Which Avengers Will They Add In The Sequel?

This is a follow-up to yesterday's blog where I discussed, what is currently just a rumor, that Thanos will be the villain in the Avengers movie. Like I said, I doubt this movie will include Loki, The Skrulls AND Thanos all in one story, so my guess is that Thanos will just pop up at the end and tease the sequel. And as I also said, The Avengers are gonna have to do some recruiting to stop him, because Hawkeye and Black Widow are toast. So who should join the team in the sequel? Here are some picks...

The most controversial omission, is of course The Wasp, Janet Van Dyne, one of two founders in the comics that are left out of the movie. Jan's been a constant on the team over the years and even led them. There's really no reason she should have been completely left out and I'm sure the producers will make it up in the sequel. They'd better!

And of course, The Wasp was, in the beginning, the partner of Ant-Man, Hank Pym. There have been constant talk of an Ant-Man movie. Maybe it'll come out after Avengers and lead into his (and The Wasp's) addition to the team in the second movie.
Keep in mind, Hank also used his size-changing powers to become Giant-Man. In case two tiny heroes are too much.

Powerhouse Ms. Marvel gained her powers from the alien Kree, the galactic mortal enemies of The Skrulls. If The Skrulls are in Avengers, couldn't The Kree easily pop up in the sequel?

And Captain Marvel a.k.a. Photon also gained her powers from an alien source. Her energy powers would look fantastic onscreen and would certainly come in handy against a nearly all-powerful alien god!

Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch... okay, not much to do with Thanos or aliens in general, but the mutant speedster and mistress of probability were two of the earliest recruits in the comics and Scarlet Witch in particular has remained a constant on the team over the years. It would be a shame to induct later members before these two stalwarts.

The same goes for SW's husband (ex?), The Vision, who has also been a constant on the team over the years. He doesn't have any specific ties to Thanos, but he SHOULD be in the movies. He and Hank Pym DO have ties to another big Avengers baddie, Ultron... maybe a sequel will feature him. Hmmm?

Black Panther... okay, not going to be very useful against Thanos. He falls in the same category as Black Widow and Hawkeye in terms of power, but like with Ant-Man, there's been constant talk about a Black Panther movie for years. Wesley Snipes wanted to play him after he wrapped up the Blade movies but so far it hasn't happened. But should it happen after Avengers, I don't see any reason he shouldn't be added to the lineup in future installments. Plus, they've been shoe-horning the character into anything Avengers in the past couple of years, for, ahem, some reason. (Psst, because Black Panther isn't just his name.)

Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! Hey, a Norse god was a hit in theaters, why not a Greco-Roman one? Hercules is as powerful as Thor, has a mace instead of a hammer but drinks a lot more and bangs more women! What's not to love about this God-Gone-Wild?

Luke Cage is a recent addition to the team. He also has had a movie in the works for a while now, rumored to be directed by John Singleton and possibly starring Tyrese Gibson. He's super strong and if he does get his own movie, like Ant-Man and Black Panther, he should be added to The Avengers.

Everyone likes She-Hulk better than The Hulk, don't they? It'd be super easy to work her into the movies' continuity. Super strong party girl/lawyer? Who wouldn't pay $15 to see that in 3D?!

And now a few characters who have no shot in hell of ever appearing on a movie screen... or do they?
The Guardians of the Galaxy... that's right, a team-within-a-team, this pack of futuristic space adventurers joined the team during the Kree/Skrull War so there's your opening! Why wouldn't they had SEVEN more characters into the movie? It worked so well for the Batman franchise.

Starfox is Thanos' brother! See the resemblance? Anyway, he can fly and has super strength, but his real power is his super pheromones which make him irresistible to women. See how that would come in handy during a cosmic super hero space battle? Point against him: Starfox is apparently a well-known video game property, so Marvel would probably want to avoid confusion there. (Yeah, because THAT'S the reason he won't be in the movies!)

Mantis was raised by a group of Kree priests and became a master martial artist, so skilled she could defeat super powered beings, as she is shown here kicking Thor's and The Scarlet Witch's asses... AT THE SAME TIME! She was the "Celestial Madonna" of the Kree's religion and was supposed to give birth to their savior... it's... really complicated. It would probably require its own movie and since Wonder Woman doesn't even have her own, good luck to a Vietnamese, ex-hooker with antennae (that, to my knowledge don't do anything), that runs around barefoot and may or may not have had sex with the android Vision, some cosmic deity and The Silver Surfer. Oh and may or may not have turned evil at one point. Yeah, license to print money, this one is.

After Thanos killed her parents, Thanos' father rescued Heather Douglas and took her to Titan and raised her to become the powerful space telepath Moondragon! So, if when Thanos lands on Earth in the movie and blows a car up with a young girl getting thrown clear, you know where that's leading! I like Moondragon. She's bald and a complete bitch to everyone around her. That adds some spice.

Other than the Silver Surfer, Quasar is probably Marvel's leading cosmic hero. For a while, they were playing him as their answer to Green Lantern. He wears these two quantum bands that grant him loads of energy powers. Other than being cute, though, I've never been that interested in him. He's kinda vanilla. Stick with Ms. Marvel and Photon, Marvel. Even so, I'd say out of all these long shots, he actually has the best shot of ever appearing in a movie, even if it's playing second fiddle to a more successful character like The Silver Surfer.

Jack of Hearts, real name Jack Hart!, was the son of a human father and alien mother and was caught in an experiment that involved some alien super fluid and suit of powerful armor and became of the D-Listiest heroes to ever join the Avengers, where he got blown the fuck up by the insane Scarlet Witch, taking the second Ant-Man, Scott Lang, with him. I think 3D Man has a better shot of starring in a movie, but who knows...

So there are some ideas, Marvel/Joss Whedon! Hope that helps!

Wonder Wednesday - Top Female Avengers Who Deserve To Be In The Avengers Movie Over Black Widow

Marvel released the above image, I suppose to get fans pumped at the idea that The Avengers movie is inching closer to reality. I'm going to be in Chicago next week when Thor opens. How's that for shitty timing? Maybe I'll squeeze in a viewing when David and the boys are at the Reds/Cubs game, because I just love going to the movies by myself. But I feel like I need to throw my nerd dollars behind this movie as a show of support after what happened in Australia. Of course, I could see it anytime after I get back, but we all know it's opening weekend that makes the real statement and I hope Thor opens huge!

As for The Avengers, notice anything? Thor, Iron Man, Cap, Hulk. No mention of "the girl" Black Widow (or Hawkeye for that matter). But really? We're making this a boy's club? And as for their pick for "the girl," like I've said before, Black Widow is just one of those characters that I don't really care anything for. I've never really been into the spy thing, for one. She doesn't have any powers. Her only weapons are those wrist "venom" shooters. Okay, I get that she wears a sexy leather catsuit and is a redhead. (Trust me, I get the redhead thing. Ginger hair makes even a marginal guy hot. I'm still smarting that that cute ginger cowboy got kicked off The Amazing Race this weekend. Anyone?) I suppose she was used to good effect in The Ultimates. And I can see how she would appeal to filmmakers because... she has no powers, less CGI. They appear to be borrowing heavily from The Ultimates, with both she and Hawkeye being government super agents.

But if there's just going to be one "girl" on the team, the character Black Widow doesn't deserve to be the one.

First of all, this was the point during which she joined them... alongside Jocasta and the Two-Gun Kid and The Guardians of the Galaxy. And then she quickly got booted when the government initiated a seven member limit for the team. Long run there, honey. She's never to my knowledge returned for a lengthier membership, minus a recent gig on The Mighty Avengers pre-Secret Invasion.

On the other hand, there are more than a handful of female heroes who are synonymous with The Avengers! I could even make a case for Tigra, who isn't a major character and whose initial run on the team was only slightly longer than Black Widow's, but when the team set up a West Coast branch, she joined up and was a fixture for years and has constantly popped up whenever the call went out for reserve members to join in on whatever adventure required ALL the Avengers. When people look at Black Widow, they think, "That's the Black Widow. She's a secret agent. She dated Hawkeye and Daredevil. She was in The Champions and I think she was an Avenger at some point." When they look at Tigra, they think, "That's Tigra. She's an Avenger."

But Tigra's not on my list. I tried to whittle it down to just a Top Five, but I couldn't, so it's a Top Six.
6. Spider-Woman - Let's see, shady secret agent past, unclear alliances, spider-theme... notice any similarity to anyone? Yep, close to Black Widow, except, y'know with an awesome yellow and red super suit and super powers! Spider-Woman is a relatively recent addition to the Avengers, but she kicks ass and fans have embraced her. She can fly, cling to walls, fire venom blasts, has super strength and emits pheromones that can subtly influence people. Plus, her name is SPIDER-Woman. Spider-Man is already a household name and piggy-backing on his success gives her added cache. Except then you have to clarify that she isn't actually in any way related to him. But by then, you'd already have the movie-goers' money so shame on them for not doing their homework ahead of time.

5. The Scarlet Witch - In the comics, the second woman to join the team's ranks, she was also the "token female" for a number of years. She's been with the team off-and-on for DECADES and is one of two women most closely associated with the team. (You'll see who the other one is, but if you know anything about the team, you already know.) Drawbacks? Lengthy back story (she was secretly Magneto's daughter and served in his Brotherhood, battling the X-Men before she and her brother Pietro/Quicksilver joined the Avengers), unclear powers ("Hexes" she can affect probability) and kinda icky love-life (in the real Marvel Universe, she married an android, The Vision, in The Ultimates, she was romantically involved with her own brother, barf!).

4. Ms. Marvel - One of the most successful Marvel heroines in recent years, she co-led The Mighty Avengers alongside Iron Man and starred in her own series. A former Air Force colonel, trained spy and head of security for NASA, Carol Danvers has a government background which would have made it super easy to integrate her into the movie! And her powers, super strength, invulnerability, flight and energy projection would have really added some BAM to the team dynamics! Her "Ms. Marvel" identity was inspired by deceased male hero Captain Marvel, but her connection to him was tenuous and easily overlooked. Really no drawbacks, other than the fact that she first joined the team in the 70s, so having her appear in the movie as a founder is a bit of a stretch and might upset some die-hards. (Well, I'm a die-hard and I'd have been okay with it.)

But if we're going with Marvels, I'll go you one better and suggest...

3. Captain Marvel - A lieutenant in the New Orleans Harbor Patrol, she was bombarded with extraterrestrial energy and gained the ability to transform her body into any type of energy from light to x-rays to ultraviolet radiation and so on. She can also absorb and manipulate energy and fire powerful energy bolts. She joined The Avengers as a novice but her natural level-headedness and ability led her to be named leader by none other than Captain America himself! She served very long tenures on the team, leaving only occasionally and returning to assist the team frequently as they needed her.

Originally depicted as being very serious and work-minded, most recently writers have given her a sarcastic sense of humor and a "complicated" dating life. Doesn't every team need a "sassy black girl?" (He said sarcastically... but hell, why not just once have a female be the "comic relief?" Has anyone EVER done that? Make it happen, Marvel!)

Oh, PS... she's AFRICAN AMERICAN, unlike ANY of the other Avengers in the movie!!! Equality, ya'll!

2. She-Hulk - Oh Marvel... how many times will The Hulk fail before you quit trying to make him work? First movie? Failed. Second movie? Failed. (Although, I didn't think it was that bad.) Let's keep milking this horse and see what happens. Okay, like I said, they seem to be borrowing heavily from The Ultimates and of course Hulk featured prominently in that. But in the real Marvel continuity, The Hulk agreed to join the team at the end of Avengers #1 but then... changed his mind and never showed up to any of their meetings or bothered helping them ever.

Fastforward to the 80s and his cousin, the similarly powerful but intelligent She-Hulk joins The Avengers and sticks around for a number of years, with her sassy attitude and tough demeanor making her a hit with fans! She filled in for The Thing as a member of the Fantastic Four for a number of years and during that time continued scoring fan love until she was eventually given her own title, a rarity among Marvel females and, at the time, she was the only one. She became Marvel's flagship heroine, appearing on all kinds of merchandising along side Cap, Spidey, Wolverine and even her own cousin. Through it all, she's remained a constant in the world of The Avengers, returning to aid them on numerous occasions, while also maintaining a career as the (literally) biggest lawyer in New York City. C'mon, government super groups have legal teams, right? Easy in for joining the onscreen team and look Marvel... maybe people just don't care for The Hulk. Try something slightly different... making The Hulk a tough, sassy (and sexy) lady!

And finally, absolutely no surprise...

1. The Wasp - Why look, who is that above on the cover of The Avengers #1? Why the sole female founder of the team, The Wasp! The Wasp served valiantly alongside her male counterparts. When her boyfriend, Ant Man became jealous of the physical abilities of his comrades Iron Man and Thor, he tweaked his size-changing powers to become Giant Man, but The Wasp remained The Wasp, tiny heroine with antennae to communicate with bugs and wings. Yup, that's it! She didn't even have her patented bio-stings yet!

After all of the founders left the team for a time, she was the first to return and was a constant fixture on the team for DECADES, skillfully leading the team for many years.

What I love about The Wasp is she was always a "girlie girl." She was vivacious, flirty, loved shopping... she was constantly designing new costumes for herself. She also just seemed to love adventuring. Who wouldn't? Wouldn't being a super hero be like the funnest thing ever?! But super heroes never really seemed to enjoy it, except maybe Spider-Man. But Wasp clearly loved it and I loved that about her. (I don't know how I managed to type this with Captain America's star-spangled bulge over to the left. Wonder Man's package is pretty impressive too. Oh look, The Wasp is in the picture, too.)

NOT to say she was a ditz or ineffective. I DID say she led the team for years and years on numerous occasions. She was also one of the first divorcees in comics, leaving her abusive husband Hank Pym (Ant Man/Giant Man) after he betrayed the team. And in The Ultimates, she and Hank were both scientists working for the government, so there's your in in the movie universe. She may be flirty and "girlie" but she's a strong, capable woman... and she should be in this freakin' movie!

My Funny Valentine Part 1 of 2

Wow, it works for both Valentine's Day and Black History Month. And people think it's bad when old folks still use "colored."

Initially, I wanted to do a V-day tribute to the best comic book super couples... then, upon further consideration, I realized that comic book relationships SUCK!
Hey, what do you say to a Super Woman with two black eyes? Nuthin'! Ya already told her twice! Nyuk Nyuk!

There's a whole website devoted to the poor treatment of women in comics called Women In Refrigerators, with the name coming from this event:Kyle Rayner, the new 90s Green Lantern comes home to find his girlfriend Alex killed and shoved between the Activia and the leftover Chinese takeout. According to Gail Simone, the creator of this website (who has since gone on to write Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, Secret Six and many other successful comics), all too often, women are used simply as plot devices to further torment/develop the male stars. Especially this one. Note to super ladies, Kyle Rayner is POISON! (Deadly, movin' in slow...)Alex was killed by Major Force, Jade (the green gal on the left) lost her powers, regained then, then was killed, Donna Troy (on the right) was killed, came back, then had her dead husband and baby son come back as killer zombies... okay, Kyle had nothing to do with that, but even so, what a crummy turn of events... even Kyle's mom died of a "mysterious illness" which turned out to be caused by a super villain. If you have a uterus, stay at least 100 yards away from this guy!
Even the "good" couples have their glaring issues, like Reed and Sue Richards, a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman (originally Invisible Girl). First of all, in fine Marvel tradition, Mr. Fantastic is both emotionally distant, spending almost all of his time working on his research, and dismissive.She got hers though. One day, Mr. Fantastic seemingly "died" in action, so Sue went all slutty:
And hooked up with The Sub-Mariner. They were like the super Leanne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian.
Or Cyclops and Jean Grey of the X-Men. She became supremely powerful, went crazy and homicidal, committed suicide to stop herself from destroying everything she loved. HE then married her clone, although he didn't realize it was her clone despite them looking JUST ALIKE!!! She then came back from the dead, the CLONE went insane and became the villain The Goblyn Queen, Jean and Scott got married, he started cheating on her (did I mention she was TELEPATHIC?!) with Emma Frost (ANOTHER telepath):
She got him back by hooking up with Wolverine (Jean wins!), then she died... again.
Sue and Jean were among the first Marvel heroines which explains why Marvel has never had a "Wonder Woman" type female super star. First of all, they were dismissively dubbed Invisible Girl and Marvel Girl, and they were easily the frailest members of their respective teams.Ben Grimm gets super strength, Reed Richards can stretch to any length, Sue's kid brother Johnny can burst into flames, leading to a bazillion people making the same gay joke for forty years and Sue has the power to fade away. Guess they didn't think to give her the power to remain completely silent on top of that.And here's Jean, in the background doing Jack Shit on the cover of X-Men #1. While Cyclops could shoot beams from his eyes and Iceman could create anything he wanted out of ice, Jean could focus so hard she broke out in a sweat in order to move a book a couple of feet.

These two weren't the only ones, though. All the early Marvel women kinda got the shit end of the stick, as they so colorfully say.What was that about marrying clones? Well, when Dr. Hank Pym (a.k.a. Ant Man) met Janet Van Dyne, he realized she looked identical to his former wife who'd disappeared under mysterious circumstances (Dun DUN DUNNNN!). Aw hell with it, he married her anyway and gave her powers similar to his own. The problem? He was ANT MAN!!! The Wasp could shrink down to insect size and communicate with ants (whoop-eee... and people make fun of Aquaman!) and unlike Ant man, she could fly via tiny wings. Like a true bitch, however, she never let him forget he was the shittiest super hero around, always fawning over the much more powerful Thor and even Iron Man, back when he wore that huge cumbersome tin can outfit...So feeling inferior, Ant Man reversed his shrinking powers and became Giant Man. The Wasp remained The Wasp. Eventually, at least, she developed energy "stings" so that was a step up. He eventually became comics' most notorious wife-slapper and has never been able to shake the stigma. He's the Chris Brown of super heroes.Then there's The Scarlet Witch. First of all, she had the indignity of wearing some sort of lamp shade as a head dress. Then, like Jean Grey in the X-Men, she had to struggle to do anything with her super powers... and what are her powers, exactly? She projects "hexes." She affects "probability." Uh... huh.Tell ya what she can't do... stand up for herself. She was never more than an arms-length away from her overbearing brother Quicksilver.Here she is on the cover of her first appearance, in X-men #4.Her FUCKING NAME is The SCARLET Witch... and the colorist couldn't even bother to color her costume SCARLET! She went on to marry a robot, use her "hex" powers to affect "probability" in order to conceive twin boys with said robot (a.k.a. The Vision), only to find out the kids were magical figments of her imagination that ceased to exist when she wasn't around, much to the horror of her babysitters, went insane (her too?!), killed The Vision, Hawkeye, the SECOND Ant Man, wiped out all the mutants except like 100 (the cool ones with their own books) and vanished. She's started popping back up, but not in full force, yet.

The magical twins magically reappeared, now as teenagers, Wiccan and Speed, which are worse code names than Invisible Girl, Marvel Girl and The Wasp rolled together. They are members of the Young Avengers, along with...The Vision, their "father," The Scarlet Witch's "husband" (whom she destroyed), who is now a robot teenager... and is dating the daughter of the second Ant Man (whom The Scarlet Witch killed)... awkwaaaaaaaard.

Oh, there's more... but this is getting lengthy, so I will continue tomorrow! Stay tuned, same Bird Time (more or less), Same Bird Blog...