Guess Who's A Professional Writer!

So, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting very much over the past few weeks. I must admit, part of it was just lack of topics. The other part is that I was in negotiations to join the team at Sciencefiction.com as a professional writer. (Bookmark it now, before you forget!) Unfortunately, Patrick, the site's owner had other commitments and was busy, so the process took several weeks... several excruciating weeks on my end. But finally, things worked out, thanks to my old friend Brian who already writes for the site and now, I'm officially on board!

Brian, myself and another writer, Scott, will be covering the New 52... all of it! That's a lotta books, so we've divided them up and here's what I will be covering. First this coming week, starting on 09/07, look for my takes on...
Animal Man... which Newsarama proclaimed to be the BEST book in the entire 52 lineup, so I am really intrigued there!
Batwing... I'm certain I got this one because of the pink and teal suit, since all my clothes in real life are pink and teal. (That's only barely not true.) I also think I got all the minority characters, except Firestorm. Hmmm.
Hawk & Dove and...
O.M.A.C., both of which I think I got because I'm the new guy and neither of the other two wanted to read them.

The following week, starting on 09/14, look for my takes on...
Batwoman... which I can already tell you is going to be faaaaaabulous!
Demon Knights, another book with strong buzz!
Mr. Terrific, because I ain't white!
Superboy... one from which I really don't know what to expect, so we'll see...

On the week of 09/21, I'll be reviewing...
Birds of Prey, wherein, I will spend many paragraphs going on about Black Canary's new sandals.
The mysterious, Dr. Manhattan Captain Atom!
The bra-less wonder, Catwoman! Just one of the trifecta of super divas...
The kneepads-free, Supergirl!
And of course, you know I gotsta review Wonder Woman, ya'll!

And finally, on 9/27, look for my reviews for...
Aquaman! See Batwoman!
Military action with the Blackhawks!
It's like Twilight, except a comic book! I, Vampire!
And finally, the Savage Hawkman! There better be a Ferocious Hawkgirl in the book, sooner than later!

And of course, I will be reading a whole lot more of these books than that, so should I feel compelled to write about those, be sure and look for my musings right back here! I am THRILLED by this opportunity and hope it works out in the long run! So tell all your friends and make sure to leave copious comments so they think I'm doing a good job!

Omissions and Revisions

I forgot to include Superboy last time. Well, I didn't forget, I just wasn't aware of it until I did some more digging. Looks like this go round, he's a robot of some kind. Greeeeeeat. Is this even the same character as in Teen Titans? He already had a somewhat complicated origin and originally a confusing power set ("tactile telekinesis?"). Like with Supergirl, they eventually transitioned him into something more akin to Superman himself.

Okay and real quick, my list of all the titles isn't quite accurate. I had Nightwing listed twice. The Authority is really called Stormwatch (starring the cast of The Authority!) and JSA hasn't been confirmed and doesn't look like will be at this point. I'm going to remove Action, although we all know it's coming, just for accuracy sake.

1. Justice League of America
2. Detective Comics
3. Wonder Woman
4. Aquaman
5. Green Lantern
6. GL Corps
7. GL: New Guardians
8. Red Lanterns
9. Green Arrow
10. Hawkman
11. Flash
12. Captain Atom
13. DC Universe Presents
14. Nightwing
15. Batgirl
16. Justice League International
17. Mr. Terrific
18. Firestorm
19. Teen Titans
20. Birds of Prey
21. Batman
22. Batman: The Dark Knight
23. Batman & Robin
24. Red Hood & The Outlaws
25. Catwoman
26. Batwoman
27. Batwing
28. Swamp Thing
29. Animal Man
30. Demon Knights
31. Frankenstein
32. I, Vampire
33. Resurrection Man
34. Justice League Dark
35. Voodoo
36. Legion of Super Heroes
37. Legion Lost
38. Static Shock
39. Hawk & Dove
40. Suicide Squad
41. Deathstroke
42. Grifter
43. Stormwatch
44. Blackhawks
45. Sgt. Rock
46. All Star Western
47. OMAC
48. Blue Beetle

That leaves four books unannounced officially, which I assume will be Superman, Action Comics, Supergirl and Superboy. And done! So no Justice Society, no Secret Six, no Powergirl or Zatanna.. I think it's nuts that Green Lantern gets four freakin' titles. And if you count Birds of Prey and Catwoman, that's NINE Batman related books! I do applaud their attempted at doing more than just straight super hero stuff.

Onto a different topic all together, my friend Tee called me out on how I (and lots of people) complain about super heroines running around in high heels when most women have trouble standing and walking in them. His challenge? "What about Prince who used to run around and dance and do splits and stuff in heels?" I... don't really have a response to that. My ONLY defense is, "Well, Prince can do a lot of stuff ordinary mortals can't."

The argument against high heels was completely shattered on the season finale of America's Best Dance Crew when We Are Heroes returned and performed "Run The World (Girls)" Check out this video, especially around 2:40.

Consider my mouth shut!

Wonder Wednesday - Teenage... Nightmare?

Okay, I've been message boarding and I have a serious case of the can't-types today, so get ready for some typos. (Unless I catch them and fix them, which is taking me at least twice as long to type anything. I should just leave them and see what comical results occur, but then it would just look like English wasn't my first language. I swear, without corrections, it looks like I'm typing with my fists.)
First off, for Moh who was curious about Demon Knights, here is the full solicit. Set in the Middle Ages, the Demon leads an unlikely team to defend civilization and preserve the last vestiges of Camelot against the tide of history. Critically-acclaimed writer Paul Cornell and artists Diogenes Neves and Oclair Albert combine sorcery, swords and superheroes in DEMON KNIGHTS #1.

Onto today, DC unveiled their teen-centric titles. It *groan* looks like they are going dark with these. First up is Legion Lost about a group of Legionnaires tossed back into the present day.

Seven heroes from the 31st century have traveled back to the present day. Their mission: Save their future from total annihilation. When the future tech they brought with them fails, they find themselves trapped in a nightmarish world and an ultimate struggle to survive. LEGION LOST #1 will be written by Fabian Nicieza and illustrated by Pete Woods, fresh off an acclaimed run of Action Comics.

Set in the present... nightmarish world. Well, Teen Moms IS one of the highest rated shows on, right now. And MTV just did that Twilight-y "remake" of Teen Wolf. But nightmarish? That's harsh.

I like the looks of this. I like the artwork. They've done the Legion-in-the-present thing before, so that's not really that interesting a concept. But I like the characters they are using, like Tellus and Gates. I LOVE Dawkstar's new costume. Oh, someone tell Mr. Terrific his lost jacket has been found... on... is that Tyroc? Or did they make Cosmic Boy black, which would be a bold move. I tend to think it's Tyroc, though, what with his mouth wide open like that. I'll check this one out. It looks good, although, like I said, the LAST thing the Legion needed was to get rebooted again!

Meanwhile, back in the 30th Century...

In the 31st century, the Legion of Superheroes is reeling from the loss of seven of their finest — and trying desperately to keep their youngest recruits alive against a series of terrible new threats. LEGION OF SUPERHEROES #1 will be written by fan-favorite Legion writer Paul Levitz and illustrated by Francis Portela.

It's interesting that the most notable thing about the Legion is that there are 27,000 of them, yet there are only three on the cover. And "reeling from the loss of seven of their finest"? I mean, there are so many of them, that it probably took them two weeks to even realize those seven were missing! This one may be okay. I am a Legion fan in general, but with all the reboots and stuff, I dropped them ages ago and haven't really looked back. I'll probably give ALL the DC books a shot, though. Even the monster ones, because even though I don't THINK I'll like 'em, you never know until you try them and over the years, I've come to enjoy a lot of non-traditional super hero books. So we'll see...

Virgil Hawkins has been gifted with incredible electrical powers. Adopting the persona of Static, he faces super-powered street gangs, raging hormones, homework, and girls in STATIC SHOCK #1, co-written by John Rozum and Scott McDaniel, with McDaniel also illustrating along with Jonathan Glapion.

Static is a character that people tend to like, but he's never been that big a seller. He was in the Teen Titans for a while, but it wasn't a very good run on the book, so that didn't do much for him. I'm glad to see him back and getting another shot, as I see him as having a lot of potential. Let's hope fans can get on board. He and Firestorm look to be the only teen heroes getting their own books and teen heroes have always done well, so here's hoping!

This is gonna bomb.

It’s up to the living avatars of war and peace to root out the hidden forces who look to plunge the country into a deadly civil war in HAWK AND DOVE #1. The exciting new series will be written by Sterling Gates and illustrated by legendary superstar comics artist Rob Liefeld.

NO ONE like's "superstar comics artist" Rob Liefeld. NO ONE. Not even his mom. This once again points toward the fact that DC is looking back to the 90s too much. Maybe they think, "Comics sold their best at that time." But they sold their best because it was nothing but gimmicks and speculators thinking they were gonna pay their kids' college tuition with those Death of Superman and chromium cover Ninjak comics. Guess what? Most of those comics are now in the 25 cent bin... where they stay because no one even wants to pay a quarter for them today! I like Dove. She got a big boost from her roles in Blackest Night and Brightest Day, but putting Liefeld on her book isn't doing her any favors.

Even so, I can just imagine the brainstorming session. "Comics sold their best in the 90s. What were comics like then? Let's make our books more like that."

"Well, they were poorly written."

"Check. Written by monkeys. Okay, what else?"

"Oh they were ugly! Everything was over stylized and hyper detailed and everyone's suit had all these pouches and shoulder pads and excessive shit all over them!"

"Hmmm, overly accessorized. Okay and how did the characters look?"

"X-TREEEEEEEEEME!!! The guys were all roided up with muscles on top of muscles and the were always flexing EVERY muscle on their body at the same time and their jaws were clenched like they were taking a painful shit. And the girls all had tits bigger than their heads and giant asses that would put the Kardashians to shame and they ran around in thongs and bras that had to have been made out of magical miracle fabric to keep that shit contained. And they were so limber that they could somehow pose with their asses AND tits facing the reader at all times!"

"Even the teenage characters?"

"ESPECIALLY the teenage characters." (Translation: Everyone wants to fuck teenagers.)

And thus, I present to you... Teen Titans.
Tim Drake is forced to step out from behind his keyboard when an international organization seeks to capture or kill super-powered teenagers. As Red Robin, he must team up with the mysterious and belligerent powerhouse thief known as Wonder Girl and a hyperactive speedster calling himself Kid Flash in TEEN TITANS #1, by Scott Lobdell and artists Brett Booth and Norm Rapmund.

Looks like they covered everything on the checklist.

Tune In Tuesday - Titans Edition

So lots of Titanic TV news, today. First The CW announced that their next new super hero themed series was going to be Raven, based on the member of the Teen Titans. It's an announcement completely out of left field, as Raven has rarely ever starred in anything solo. She formed the New Teen Titans in 1980 and has been a fixture on the team since.
It's an obscure choice BUT thinking about it, a teenage heroine who is the daughter of a human mother and demon father, who must suppress her emotions to prevent her demon daddy from using her as a vessel to destroy the world... it sounds like the perfect match for The CW!
In the comics, Raven has very subtle abilities. She is an empath, so she can read others' emotions, she can manipulate emotions to a degree and she can teleport. Recently, she appears to have developed the power of flight. I'm not sure if they'll try and beef up her abilities on the show the way they did on the Teen Titans cartoon, on which she basically had telekinesis.For such a gothy, introverted character, I never dug how they gave her bare legs on the toon. I guess it was in homage to the slitted skirt she wore in the beginning, but it felt too InYaFace to me. Then again, I'm sure on the show, she probably won't even wear a real costume. We'll see... but I think this has potential. As startling as the decision was, it's a logical choice, so let's hope it works. I'm just thrilled to get a FEMALE based super hero project out there!

In other Titans TV news, last week, Cartoon Network aired a sneak preview of Young Justice... and it was EXCELLENT!The Young Justice comic was basically the 90s version of Teen Titans, just with a different name, starring the then-current "sidekicks" of the Justice League heroes... Robin (Tim Drake), Superboy (Kon-El/Conner Kent), Wonder Girl (Cassie Sandsmark), Impulse (Bart Allen) and Arrowette (Cissie King-Jones), plus a few made-for-the-series characters like Secret (a ghost of a deceased young girl) and Empress (a magical warrior... and sigh, token ethnic character). Eventually the YJ book was canceled and the four stars, Robin, SB, Impulse (adopting the new codename Kid Flash) and Wonder Girl "graduated" to a revival of the Teen Titans book.The show is kind of a mixture of that series and the original/current Teen Titans. It appears that Robin and Kid Flash, as well as guest star Speedy (Green Arrow's sidekick, whose name is used in a hilarious one-liner at the beginning) are the originals from the 60s-80s, Dick Grayson, Wally West and Roy Harper, not the current versions. Yet also in the mix are the modern Superboy, Miss Martian and the newly introduced Aqualad, Jackson Hyde. Not appearing in the preview was Artemis, a female archer who it's been leaked is Arrowette from the 90s Young Justice series. So... it's kind of a hodgepodge.
Arrowette... Artemis has been the subject of a lot of speculation and debate, because the creators wouldn't reveal who she actually was.There are two blond teen archers in DC Comics. Arrowette, as I said, was in YJ in the 90s, but retired.
More recently, Green Arrow took on a new Speedy, Mia Dearden (the original, Roy Harper had adopted the identity of Arsenal, then later Red Arrow). She served with the Teen Titans, but hasn't been as big a part of the DC Universe as some of her contemporaries.There actually is a character in the DCU named Artemis, a red headed Amazon who for a time served as Wonder Woman. The absence of Wonder Girl in the cartoon's lineup led many to assume that THIS Artemis was being used in her place. But why ditch the red hair?


One clever guess I heard was that it was this character, The Tigress, real name Artemis Crock, the daughter of two old Green Lantern foes, The Sports Master and The Huntress. She originally functioned as simply Artemis and she uses a crossbow, so that lends the theory credibility.

But Cartoon Network leaked that Artemis was Cissie King (guess she dropped the hyphenate). Here's the punny part... Her name is Cissie KING. Green Arrow's real name is Oliver QUEEN! Get it?! In the first episode, GA is still partnered with the original Speedy, Roy Harper, so no one's sure how Cissie will factor in.
I gotta say, I L-O-V-E-D this episode! The animation is gorgeous, the characters are all interestingly rendered (Robin is much smaller and skinnier than the others, Aquaman and Aqualad are given barefeet for the first time, which makes perfect sense, etc.) The story was action packed, serious... yet still fun and had a nice amount of character development. Of course some assholes will criticize anything so...
OF COURSE people are bitching that Aqualad is black. Suck it up! they went to the trouble of introducing him in the comics before the series began and he's AWESOME, so suck it up. He's super strong and can create weapons out of hard water. He is the biggest ass kicker in the bunch! Viva Aqualad!
I can't argue with the critique that the first episode was an epic sausage fest. It basically followed Robin, Kid Flash and Aqualad on their first mission as a group, which involved finding Superboy. However, my defense, and I'm sticking to it, is that it was an homage to the very first teen sidekick crossover that preceded the actual formation of the Teen Titans.
See same characters, just... in the 60s.
At least Miss Martian showed up at the end. On this series, she's Martian Manhunter's niece. In the comics, she's a White Martian (the evil kind) but is good so she disguises herself as a Green (good) Martian. She shows up at the very end and all the guys try to mack on her. It's cute. This episode was SO good, I'm willing to not judge it on lack of female content, because I know when the young ladies show up, they'll be handled properly. (One of the producers worked on the EXCELLENT X-Men Evolution series which featured stellar female characters!)

For some reason, Wonder Girl wasn't available to the producers in the beginning, but she has since been made available and I can't wait. Since it's a mixture of older and newer characters, I don't know if the Wonder Girl they pick will be the modern one, Cassie Sandsmark...
Or MY GIRL, Donna Troy...
I'd love to see Donna animated, but I'd actually be happy either way.
Did I mention that Robin is voiced by the ABORBZ Jesse McCartney? Soooooo KEWT!!!
Also, back to the treatment of women in cartoons, if it offends you that female characters factored lightly into YJ, DON'T FUCKIN' WATCH GI JOE RENEGADES!!! Scarlet is featured heavily, but she is the highest ranking of the Joes and is constantly talked down to, dismissed, made fun of and in EVER conceivable way treated like shit!!! It's the most misogynist 30 minutes of toonage I have ever seen! I can't believe NO ONE ELSE, as far as I could tell from reading message boards and such, has complained! Are women just not watching this show? Well... DON'T! (Although, I have watched episodes since and they weren't that bad. Oh well, just venting!)

Tune In Tuesday 10-05-10 The Music of DC Comics: 75th Anniversary Collection

In honor of DC's 75th Anniversary, a CD collection of theme songs for its various TV and film adaptations is out today! Spanning all the way back to 1941 and the legendary Superman animated shorts produced by Fleischer Studios, to modern hits like Batman Begins and Smallville, the album is a mix of bombastic orchestral numbers and bright poppy jingles.

Of course, the lion's share goes to these two whores:
"Got a problem with that?" Well, I suppose being the Big Two, they've had far more adaptations than any of the others.

I'll get to the individual songs themselves, but first, there are two huge complaints I have about this collection. First, omissions. I understand that not every theme song could possibly have been included but to include some questionable choices over other more obvious well-known songs just feels off. And second, sequencing. I've already rearranged them in a playlist in my iTunes. The songs aren't in chronological order, they're grouped according to the character featured, so all the Superman songs are first, followed by Superboy song (which is where Smallville is grouped! Ha ha!), followed by Batman. But even then, they are in random order and often shifting from one song to the next is a jarring experience.
The first song is deservedly the Superman March from the Fleischer Studios series, which is followed by Theme From Superman (Album Version) by John Williams from the 1978 Superman movie. Indeed, Williams' score is one of the top, most iconic super hero theme songs ever and the two songs together seem well matched, but then they throw you the wackily 60s poppy theme song from The New Adventures of Superman...
... followed by the Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman soap opera (which is heavily influenced by Williams' theme), the 60s Superboy cartoon, the 80s Superboy live action show and finally Smallville Season 8, which is NOT Somebody Save Me! When did this happen? There was a season of Smallville that didn't have that as the theme? Apparently so, but why did the album's producers use that instead of Somebody Save Me? That's the one everyone knows!
On to Batman, the first Bat-track is the opening music and narration to the 1943 Batman movie serial. Doesn't it look stellar? Ha! You can BUY costumes better than those at Target! Batman's belt is tucked under his armpits! It's a fun inclusion, with oh-so serious narration explaining the characters. The quirky archaic-ness of the serial's theme is contrasted sharply with Danny Elfman's moody, dynamic theme to the 1989 live-action feature, the one that showed the world super heroes had grown up.
Then, once again, it's a random hodgepodge of themes. 1967's The Adventures of Batman...
...1967's theme to the Adam West series (extended version... Holy Bat 12-Inch!)...
...the theme to the most current Batman series The Brave & The Bold, the techno-infused Batman Beyond (from the futuristic animated series), and then incongruously, Molossus from Batman Begins. Does anyone really remember any music from either of the two most recent Batman flicks? I don't! The first truly shocking omission is the theme from the long-running, super successful Batman: The Animated Series.
This show spawned Batman Beyond not to mention an entire "universe," with the producers later creating Superman: The Animated Series, then Justice League and Justice League Unlimited! I've read some people say it sounds too much like the Elfman score from the movie. But like I said the Lois & Clark theme sounded a lot like the Williams movie score, so Batman: TAS deserved inclusion!

And what the heck...No "Batdance?!" I'm kidding. Kinda. It would have been an oddball inclusion if they had, however, it was a #1 hit! I mean, that kinda makes it the most successful of them all! "Get the FUNK up! Go-go-go with a smile!"
Following the intense orchestration of Molossus, once again in an abrupt change of gears, the next song is the theme to the 60s Justice League of America (a segment on the Superman/Aquaman Hour). This begins a block of Justice League/team up songs. It's then followed by two versions of the Super Friends theme. The first season, which featured non-super sidekicks Marvin, Wendy and Wonder Dog.
Followed by the more dynamic second season theme to The All-New Super Friends Hour, with The Wonder Twins replacing MW&WD. Honestly, I'd buy an album of JUST the various Super Friends theme songs. They were all basically the same but re-recorded and rearranged each new season.
It then leaps forward to the theme for 2004's Justice League Unlimited.
But strangely omits the theme to Justice League, the first two seasons of the show that would become JLU.
If the two had sounded alike, that would be understandable, but they sounded very different. The first theme is more akin to the movie themes, very orchestral and bombastic, while Unlimited's theme is more rock-y and fast. When Unlimited first aired a lot of fans complained that the second theme was too hair metal. I've always argued it was more Queen-influenced. The guitar parts are very Brian May!

What's really jarring is to go from JLU's fast, contemporary theme to the startling inclusion of the aired-only-once Legends of the Super Heroes live action specials from 1979! It sounds... like it's from 1979!Cheesy TV music from the 70s... but it's cool that non-headliners like The Huntress and Black Canary were given a share of the spotlight. While this two-parter was HO-KEY, it's still better than the Star Wars Christmas Special. Actually... maybe not. It's a stretch. They'd have to leg wrestle for the title. (Also, if they were going to include rarities like this, I'd have liked to have seen them include Batgirl's theme from the 60s series.)


The theme to Filmation's 67 Teen Titans comes next. The themes to these Filmation shows are all pretty similar. Same 60s music, same narrator, same basic dialogue... like I said, I put them in chronological order. It sounds better that way. This theme feels tacked on to the Justice League shows, which I don't necessarily care for. Then there's the next big omission...
The theme to the 2000s Teen Titans show, performed by Puffy Amiyumi (in both English and Japanese) is left out. It was memorable as all heck and Teen Titans ran for four seasons. The Filmation shorts only lasted ONE! The only reason I can think of, is maybe it's too new and they felt like showcasing more selections from decades ago, more of an archival thing. But seriously, compared to some of the oddballs coming up, I think I'd have rather gotten Teen Titans!
Aquaman leads the charge of the misfit parade, with the theme from his Saturday morning series, which as I said, sounds pretty much like all the other themes from this show. In another jolting transition, Aquaman is followed by...
Swamp Thing! What the...?! Okay, so yeah technically, Swamp Thing is from the DC Universe roster, but still... kray-kray choice! I could easily have lived without it. Swamp Thing himself narrates it in this cheesy deep, vibrato voice... it's SO campy! This could easily have been left out in favor of Teen Titans or... just... ANYTHING!
Then abruptly, they bounce back to 1974 for soaring-seventies Shazam! Then back once again to the Filmation themes, with The Flash and Green Lantern, followed by the spacey intense theme to Green Lantern First Flight, last year's animated feature. Then, again, abruptly it switches back to the 60s and finishes off the Filmation shows with Hawkman and The Atom.

Springing up next is the slick 70s action tune stylings of The Plastic Man Comedy Adventure Show.
I should consider it an honor that Wonder Woman was chosen to bring it home! Unfortunately, she gets two selections, the first being the New Age-y, this-has-nothing-to-do-with-Wonder-Woman, Wonder Woman The Animated Movie End Title. I felt like I was waiting to get a massage. Even though, it's Wonder Woman, I could have lived without its inclusion in favor of one of the previously mentioned omissions.

But of course, rounding the entire album out is the stellar, disco-lounge-y theme to the 70s TV series! Best! Theme Song!! EVER!!! Although... it's a tad of a letdown, just because it's been readily available forever. Being as popular as i t is, it's one of the easiest theme songs to come by. But hopefully some other comics fan will hear it on this disc for the first time and years and groove out to it! I also hope that when/if this rumored new Wonder Woman TV show happens, they stick with the theme song. It worked for Hawaii Five-O!

So yeah... overall, I am delighted to have all these obscure theme songs in my music collection, but it's an uneven, herky-jerky ride listening to it the way it was compiled. The modern instrumentals don't mesh at all with the quirky, charmingly outdated themes from the sixties and seventies. And there were some pretty bold omissions. I think maybe a better idea would have been to offer a two disc set, one of instrumentals and the other of the more "jingle"-esque TV themes. That way they could have added even more! But... even so, I'll take these tracks however I can get them!