Guess Who's A Professional Writer!

So, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting very much over the past few weeks. I must admit, part of it was just lack of topics. The other part is that I was in negotiations to join the team at Sciencefiction.com as a professional writer. (Bookmark it now, before you forget!) Unfortunately, Patrick, the site's owner had other commitments and was busy, so the process took several weeks... several excruciating weeks on my end. But finally, things worked out, thanks to my old friend Brian who already writes for the site and now, I'm officially on board!

Brian, myself and another writer, Scott, will be covering the New 52... all of it! That's a lotta books, so we've divided them up and here's what I will be covering. First this coming week, starting on 09/07, look for my takes on...
Animal Man... which Newsarama proclaimed to be the BEST book in the entire 52 lineup, so I am really intrigued there!
Batwing... I'm certain I got this one because of the pink and teal suit, since all my clothes in real life are pink and teal. (That's only barely not true.) I also think I got all the minority characters, except Firestorm. Hmmm.
Hawk & Dove and...
O.M.A.C., both of which I think I got because I'm the new guy and neither of the other two wanted to read them.

The following week, starting on 09/14, look for my takes on...
Batwoman... which I can already tell you is going to be faaaaaabulous!
Demon Knights, another book with strong buzz!
Mr. Terrific, because I ain't white!
Superboy... one from which I really don't know what to expect, so we'll see...

On the week of 09/21, I'll be reviewing...
Birds of Prey, wherein, I will spend many paragraphs going on about Black Canary's new sandals.
The mysterious, Dr. Manhattan Captain Atom!
The bra-less wonder, Catwoman! Just one of the trifecta of super divas...
The kneepads-free, Supergirl!
And of course, you know I gotsta review Wonder Woman, ya'll!

And finally, on 9/27, look for my reviews for...
Aquaman! See Batwoman!
Military action with the Blackhawks!
It's like Twilight, except a comic book! I, Vampire!
And finally, the Savage Hawkman! There better be a Ferocious Hawkgirl in the book, sooner than later!

And of course, I will be reading a whole lot more of these books than that, so should I feel compelled to write about those, be sure and look for my musings right back here! I am THRILLED by this opportunity and hope it works out in the long run! So tell all your friends and make sure to leave copious comments so they think I'm doing a good job!

Happy Reboot Eve!

So after all the hype, doom-decreeing, dread, scorn, speculation, confusion, misinterpretation and pants turning into shorts, tonight at the stroke of midnight, a giant DC logo --> will descend from the heavens and Clark Kent will go to kiss Lois Lane, who will then slap him (possibly breaking her hand in the process) because they aren't married (and may never have been) and she has a new fella. Yup, the dawn of the DCnU is nigh! Let's cut the bullshit. This is gonna be huge! We're going to see record numbers on these books. NO ONE, no matter how pissed off they are, is NOT going to buy the shit outta these books! I mean, we can't complain if we don't actually read the books, right? Yeah, a certain number of fans have already made up their minds... they're either all on board or leaving DC forever. Those that will be exiting Earth left, have already decided that these are abominations and that's exactly what they'll see when they look at Justice League and Lee's stylized, hyper-detailed art and they will decry that Geoff Johns is an overrated hack and just Dan DiDio's goon.

Where do I fall in the spectrum of DC has always been lame! It's about time they updated their characters! and Fuck this new shit!? I dunno... in the middle? I'm not thrilled with it, let's just get that out of the way. I'm not! But DiDio's been pretty frank that they were hemorrhaging readers as-is. People were leaving the hobby (and technically, it is just a hobby) in droves. A lot have transitioned from monthly "floppies" to "wait for the trades." I do that with certain titles, because it's nice to have the whole story there for the enjoyment. Then there's the recession. Let's face it, money doesn't stretch as far as it used to, and at $4 a pop for something it takes you fifteen minutes to read (at most), comics are kind of an indulgence.

So, I suppose SOMETHING had to be done. And let's face it, when was the last time DC has EVER generated this much buzz? Have they ever? The death of Superman, maybe? But EVERYONE is talking about this and reacting to it. Marvel attempted to drum up interest in its current crossover, Fear Itself, by offering comic retailers the option of tearing the covers off of their unsold DC Flashpoint (the lead-in to this relaunch) titles in exchange for an ultra-rare Fear Itself book, that they could sell at a considerable mark-up. Every comic message board and fansite... THIS has been the leading topic of conversation since its announcement, yea or nay.

I'm in a weirdly zen place with all of this. I love my classic DC Universe... including tons and tons of classic, silly Silver Age tales. I have a small collection of Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane comics, many of which consist of Lois turning into some monstrosity or traveling through time or gaining super powers... none of which "really happened" in the (until midnight) current DC Universe. See, I came of age during the Crisis on Infinite Earths era. I started ravenously reading comics, old and new around the age of eight, so I quickly discovered the long and rich history of DC Comics and how it was explained that any stories prior to the early 50s took place on Earth 2, so there were two Supermen, one old (Earth2) and one young (Earth 1). Only the young one had his own comics. The older one just popped up in guest appearances every so often. Ditto Wonder Woman. There had been two Batmen, but the older one died, and his daughter continued fighting crime on Earth 2 as The Huntress (-->). There were also older parallel Earth versions of The Flash, Green Lantern, The Atom and Hawkman, but those were different people altogether, with different alter egos, costumes and powers. Black Canary was originally from Earth 2, but came to live on Earth 1 (yet she remained remarkably youthful compared to her former allies). Ah! It was then revealed that Black Canary was actually NOT the original heroine from Earth 2, but rather her daughter! Thaaaaat's better!

And there were MORE! There was Earth 3, where instead of a Justice League of America, there existed a Crime Syndicate of America, featuring evil doppelgangers of Superman and friends! And the stars of that Shazam! cartoon I watched on Saturday morning? They lived on Earth S (later renamed Earth 5, which looks like an S in comic book font) and occasionally met up with the heroes from the mainstream DCU. In one of my earliest comic books, Wonder Woman teamed up with other female heroes from different Earths, including Phantom Lady, who it turned out, lived on Earth X, a world where the Nazis had won World War II!

And so forth and so on. Then came Crisis on Infinite Earths. DC streamlined its continuity, removing all parallel Earths... not only did they no longer exist, but they never existed to begin with. Extraneous characters like the older versions of Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman were removed from all continuity. There never had been a Superman or Wonder Woman or Batman in the 1930s-40s. Period. All those wacky adventures the heroes had had during the 50s and 60s? Never happened. In fact, Wonder Woman's ENTIRE history was wiped out and she debuted as a brand new characters that no one had previously encountered! The Huntress (and Earth 2's Robin) were killed... then quickly vanished from everyone's memory... they never existed either.

It was a jumbled mess, but fans rolled with it and DC saw sales skyrocket with the reinvention of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, etc. Both Superman and Batman had their pasts revised to make them more contemporary and realistic. Gone were some of Superman's goofier powers like Super Ventriloquism. Batman's history was darker, grittier and more urban. (His supporting cast was likewise grounded. The former "bored socialite," Catwoman, was now a former prostitute.)

It all made sense with time... okay, some of it never made sense, but they did what they could to explain away the loss of Superman's time as Superboy and its impact on the Legion of Super Heroes. If Wonder Woman was just debuting as a hero, then what's up with her sister Wonder Girl who still has a history with the Teen Titans? Power Girl was the Supergirl of Earth 2. Now there's not even a Supergirl of Earth 1! They cooked up their "Pocket Universe Superboy" who served with the Legion and revised Wonder Girl's origin, removing Wonder Woman and instead making her a disciple of the "Titans of Myth" and renaming her Troia. And Power Girl was the descendant of "an ancient Atlantian sorcerer."

But ya know what? All those silly old stories from the 50s and 60s? They still existed. They didn't magically vanish into the either like The Huntress and Earth 2's Robin. I kept buying and reading those quirky, charming old tales and enjoyed the hell out of them, just as much as I did the modern comics of the time. Okay, so the "real" Superman and Batman never had to deal with that time Bat-Mite gave Batwoman super powers and she made a mess out of things. But A Superman and Batman did. They were a more jovial and friendly pair. They smiled a lot and had barrel chests and told kids to drink their milk. What can I say, I'm a sucker for nostalgia (even for a time from before my parents were born) and Americana. Heck, I was a kid! I was still reading Archie comics and these wacky tales were certainly no more silly than those!

What's more, the Super Friends comic, the one that got me into comics to begin with, that was its own universe! The Dark Knight Returns, the blockbuster book of the late 80s that everyone was fawning over? That was also not part of DC's official continuity. So even though they'd eliminated parallel worlds, they kept popping up, to the point that in the 90s, DC established its own imprint called Elseworlds, which featured alternate takes on its heroes, such as a Batman in Victorian times, matching wits with Jack the Ripper. And several characters like Swamp Thing and the Sandman, that had existed in the mainstream DC Universe, were then established as living in a separate comic line, Vertigo and were no longer part of the DC Universe. What's more, suddenly they never had been!

But I'd read the story where the Justice League interacted with Swamp Thing. Suddenly, that no longer happened? It was still a great story. So were all those Justice League stories that included Wonder Woman... they weren't cannon, but that didn't make them not exist. The Super Friends wasn't "real?" I still loved them.

And thus in a few short hours, everything that has happened since Crisis on Infinite Earths until the present will suddenly "no longer have happened." Or "maybe happened, maybe didn't." Or "happened, but in a different way." Been there. Done that. Further more, got over it. I survived the first Crisis and DC's slightly bungled aftermath. I think I can handle this. Worse case? Shitty comics. I can just not read those. Best... hell even just okay... case? Good comics. Fun comics. Fresh comics! Maybe even... great comics? Could that happen? These heroes have endured one continuity Crisis after another and they always manage to come out okay in the end. Supergirl? Died in the first Crisis. She's back. Different, but back. Batgirl? Paralyzed after the first Crisis. Oh hey, look who's back in her own book! Huntress? Back times two, actually. It might take years, but these guys are tough. They can handle it. Can we?

Lady Biznazz

First up, this image of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman popped up yesterday and basically no one gives a shit. I certainly don't. I just hate these Nolan Batmovies. I hate how boringly realistic they are. What I love about Captain America and Thor is how they embrace their source material and don't apologize for it. They're realistic to a degree, but are colorful and fun at the same time. But anyhoo, as for Catwoman, I mean, she's just wearing black clothes. That's it. It's not as stylized as Michelle Pfeifer's cut-up raincoat from Batman Returns. It's not as stylish as Julie Newmar's (et.al.) from the 60s. It's not a purple dress or catsuit. It's not as functional looking as Darwyn Cooke's design from the most recent comics. It's just, like, a black motorcycle suit with high tech goggles and apparently a flared domino mask that does, in fact, look like the 60s version. I.e., it's perfect for the Nolan Batmovies. Moving on!
Artist Kelly Turnbull took this alternate cover for Justice League #1 (left) and Wonder Woman's ridiculous pose and depicted her co-stars in both costumes that mimicked hers and in the exact same pose. I didn't quite get how sexual it was that her lasso was hanging between her legs, until I saw the guys in the same pose. DC really seems to be stepping backward in time, with its recent handling of its female characters. I hope it's just a coincidence and not truly indicative of how they plan to move forward. Also, I don't know what's going on with Wonder Woman and her trunks. First every image of her in the upcoming comics featured her in long tights, now all of a sudden, every image has her in shorts, including artwork that had already been shown! It's been re-done to depict her in shorts. But why those stupid navy boots?! I HATE them!

Finally, from DC Women Kicking Ass, and interview with Jack C. Harris, DC's go-to writer for female heroes in the 70s (Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl, Isis) wherein he reveals that around 1980, he and artist Trevor Von Eeden pitched a team book that would have starred Supergirl, Batgirl, Vixen and The Enchantress!
This would have been my favorite comic book EVER had it happened! I already loved Supergirl and Batgirl. I was never aware of The Enchantress until she popped up in the mid-80s in Suicide Squad, but she was a minor magical character that Harris had used as a villain in Supergirl. Vixen, at this point, I don't believe had ever actually appeared in a comic, since hers was aborted before it saw release. I think this period was before she finally popped up in Superman. But we all know how I love the sistahs, so you know I'd have been all over her, if this book had happened!
You've got a nice mix of powers there. Batgirl and Supergirl would have filled essentially the same roles as their male counterparts do in the Justice League, basically Batgirl = Smarts, Supergirl = Power. The Enchantress brings a magical angle and Vixen mystical, animal-based powers. I think they'd have blended well together. (Also, it would have been the most racially balanced super team around, since Enchantress is Asian and Vixen is black.)
The name Power Squad is generic as all hell, though. Could have been why DC didn't pick up the proposal? I will say at least, that it isn't some silly female centric name like Girl Gang or Sheroes or Femme Fighters. But it just isn't "Pow!" enough. If I couldn't see the cover and that it was an all-girl team, if I just had to base my interest on the title alone, I probably would have passed.
Maybe DC passed simply because they thought women couldn't sell comics. I think, at the time, that was kind of true. Supergirl had her own book off and on, but it was inconsistent and Batgirl had her own strip that ran in other Batbooks, but never her own series. Wonder Woman was the only one who had her own series that ran nonstop and I've read that it wasn't that big a seller, it's just that DC HAD to produce a monthly WW comic to retain rights to the character. But combine two household names like Supergirl and Batgirl and add two more female characters to the mix, I think that might have gained more attention than the characters could on their own!
I dunno. This whole concept captivates me. For one thing, and not to sound arrogant, it's unusual that there is an idea like this that I don't already know about! I love it when I can get schooled on comics from my era. And the whole "what if?" aspect... what if this book had been successful? Would things have turned out differently for Supergirl and Batgirl in the 80s? Would Supergirl have survived Crisis and would Batgirl never have become paralyzed... and therefore never become Oracle and therefore never founded the first REAL all-female super team Birds of Prey?! (Okay, so in that case, maybe it's best that this never really happened...) It's just neat, that's all. I know I'd have loved this comic as a kid, but it never happened, so...

Fun discovery!

Wonder Woman Pilot Review

Yay! I finally got to see the Wonder Woman pilot! Thanks to my friend Tee and comicbookmovie.com.
I'm actually going to be jumping all over in my review, so if you don't want to be spoiled, you should probably watch the video first (click on the link above). Don't lolly-gag, though, I don't imagine it's going to remain up for very long.
So let's start with the good. Adrianne Palicki does just fine in the role. I was unfamiliar with her acting prior to this, but I had two concerns with her appearance, that she looked too young and that she was reportedly very petite. She carries the role just fine and they did the typical trickery to make her appear taller than most of the male actors in the pilot. Her acting was just fine as was that of most of the principle cast. There are a few duds in there, but that was generally the incidental roles.
I, like most people, felt that giving her three identities would be convoluted. However, actually watching the show, she really doesn't have three identities. Diana Themyscira and Wonder Woman are one and the same. Her demeanor is the same whether in her super suit or in a business suit. Everyone knows her real name is Diana Themyscira. "Wonder Woman" is just an alias or a title. Diana Prince is the separate identity, so it's really no more convoluted than the average hero... in fact, it's pretty much exactly how she was depicted in the real comics, before J Michael Straczynski revamped it. She didn't use the surname "Themyscira" but everyone knew she was Princess Diana from Themyscira and used the code name Wonder Woman, but they were the same person. She adopted the Diana Prince identity in the comics to get closer to humanity, which is basically the same motivation as it is here, just gone about in a different way.
And as for that, I read an interview with David E. Kelley and that was the nugget of his take on this character, what made him want to do the project to begin with, to address the isolation and loneliness she must feel. I have to admit, it's not a bad idea. (Like I said, I'm gonna jump all over the place here.) The last scene shows Diana Prince in her apartment, attempting to start a Facebook page, but when she has to list her friends, the only name she can put down belongs to her cat, Sylvester. This cuts to her sitting on the couch watching two anchor people gush about how great Wonder Woman is, with the female anchor wishing she could spend one day as her. The scene is well-shot and captures what Kelley wanted to convey and would have been an interesting take on the character. She does NOT as everyone was fearing, come across as neurotic, like Kelley's other creation Allie McBeal. Also thankfully missing were the rom com moments from the script of her having a sleep over, where she and her gal pals dance to "Single Ladies," and a workout scene set to "Bad Romance."
The Steve Trevor subplot WAS soapy and felt tacked on and like a lot of other things, at once overly complicated and unnecessary. As Diana Prince, she flips on the TV and what's playing but The (Fucking) Notebook, which causes Diana to flash back to her breaking up with Steve in order to move to LA and launch her Wonder Woman career. There's another soapy Steve flashback later on and then he pops up at the end, except wah waaaaah, now he's married! He's also working for the State Department, investigating Wonder Woman and her methods and has been transferred to LA. All of this could have been left out. Or at least postponed to a later episode. I know folks like romance on their TV dramas, but this one was poorly executed and seemed to weaken the Diana character. It just wasn't very well-done!
Carey Elwes as Henry Johns and Tracie Thoms as Etta Candy are just fine. In the original pitch, Elwes' character was supposed to be hopelessly in love with Diana, but there's no evidence of that here. Thoms is actually really good and it's too bad she isn't given more to do.
Let's talk about that costume. It actually films better than it photographs. I was particularly impressed with the gold metallic parts which DO in fact look like metal onscreen, even in low-rez pirated definition, versus looking like cheap, dull plastic in pictures. The bodice is still too shiny and plastic looking, though, although maybe I'm just used to seeing it, because while I didn't LIKE it, it didn't distract me. I got over it, fairly quickly.
And the trunks she wears in the last part of the pilot are made out of the same shiny material as the first revealed long pants that were scrapped. The shiny plastic-y pants accidentally pop up, after the first scene, where she is wearing the darker fabric pants, when she returns to her base, she is briefly shown wearing the original, much-hated shiny pants. This was an oopsie, and I guess if they'd actually aired this, they'd have digitally corrected it.
And about that... in one scene Diana complains that Veronica Cale calls her an "action figure" on TV, to which Etta replies, "You are an action figure. You deigned your costume specifically to look like one." But then in a later scene Diana complains in a board meeting about her skimpy costume and how big her doll's breasts are. It's a DREADFUL scene. If Diana designed the costume, why is she bitching about it now? At one point, Henry points to an illustration that bears a strong resemblance to this HORRIBLE real Ame Comi statue DC Direct produced:...and claims that Diana approved the prototype, to which she replies that she didn't and they never settle on the truth.
There's also an illustration that shows her wearing the silver DCnU choker so you know that ugly look has been in the works for a while now. In the meeting, there are a number of different Wonder Woman toys and illustrations shown, most of which are wearing unique costumes, leading me to think she would probably switched up her look often, had the show gotten picked up. But I hope she never would have worn that FUG Ame Comi look. Yuck!
Anyway, moving on, Elizabeth Hurley is "soap opera bitch" campy as Veronica Cale, the pharmaceutical villain... which I was okay with. I can see where it might not appeal to everyone, but I was okay with it. Honestly, my biggest complaint about her is that she only wore one dress in the entire movie!
Every scene, she wore the same dress! No one thought that was strange? In a real head-scratcher of a scene, Wonder Woman calls a press conference and accuses Veronica Cale of selling illegal super steroids and flat out says "I have no proof." You can't do that! It's a stupid scene that makes no sense, but sadly, there are a few more of those to come.
After running down one of Cale's henchmen in the first action sequence, Wonder Woman remarks that he was "like a cheetah." Oh come on! That couldn't have just been a cheap throw away line! That was a direct reference to Wonder Woman's arch foe The Cheetah! WHY didn't they just USE The Cheetah! Too often on super hero shows and even some movies, you have these super powered beings duking it out with non-powered executives and so forth. BOR-ING! It wouldn't even have to have been the Barbera Minerva were-cheetah version.
The Priscilla Rich or Deborah Domaine versions would have worked. Instead she faces off against a pack of generic, roided-up muscle men in off-the-rack Under Armor.
Speaking of, nearly every other review of this pilot points out two disturbing scenes. In one, Wonder Woman PLAINLY places her magic lasso on the chest of the bad guy she chased down in the first scene, but rather than USE IT to get info out of him, she apparently breaks his arm/tortures him to get it. In the big final battle, she flat out kills two of Cale's guards. This is in addition to the somewhat confusing fact that she is an actual vigilante, using illegal methods to capture her foes, which the other characters repeatedly point out, but apparently "illegal search and seizure" aside, if they find out that Wonder Woman was right, THAT holds up in a court of law?! Why even point out that her methods are illegal?! Why not just just do what they did with Batman in the 50s and make her an unofficial deputy. Give her carte blanche. Otherwise, that kinda just makes HER a criminal, which may work in reference to someone like Batman who lurks in the shadows and maintains a SECRET identity, but would NEVER work for a public figure with a big skyscraper base of operations, with a whole corporation in place producing licensed merchandise to fund her crime fighting endeavors! Once again, illogical and overly-complicated.The action sequences were decent. In the first, she does a lot of leaping, calling to mind Lynda Carter's depiction, wherein Wonder Woman couldn't fly. Some have complained that she uses the Magic Lasso more as a bullwhip, rather than twirling it over her head like a traditional lasso. I didn't have a huge problem with that, though. The cut I saw was unfinished, so you could see a lot of the ropes and wires during the big fight scenes, but interestingly, the lasso effects were all complete. She also has one bullets & bracelets scene in the final conflict, which was nice.
Here's where the flaws really bog things down. In Captain America, there were some gaps in logic or things that didn't quite make sense, but overall, Captain America had heart and was an excellently put-together story, so you could overlook a few flaws. With Wonder Woman, it's the opposite. There are just TOO many things that don't make sense, and really nothing GREAT to counter that. The "positives" are just "acceptable" or "okay" or "better than I thought they would be."
However, I would have kept watching the show, had it been picked up. It had potential and I think that after hearing criticism, the producers, writers, etc. could have taken the show in a better direction. It wasn't un-salvageable. And I must say, it actually felt less cheesy than Smallville. At least her "world" looked real, not like fake-ass sound stages. Unfortunately, potential or not, the pilot was a C- at best.
But, y'know, glad I got to see it!