Saturday, February 27, 2010

Toysplotation

Plaid Stallions, one of my absolute favorite blogs, ran this yesterday: http://www.plaidstallions.com/shindana/1976.html. It's about a toy company I previously knew nothing about called Shindana, that specialized in toys for the African American market. According to this story, they were the first company to make African American dolls that accurately reflected ethnic facial features, rather than simply recasting existing Caucasian dolls in brown plastic. Unknowingly, I did purchase one of their products in the past, a "doll" (it was more like a pillow, honestly) based on 70s comedian Flip Wilson, which depicted Flip on one side and his alter ego Geraldine on the other.Jesus, what is it about black comedians and drag?! Also, that looks TOTALLY like Loni Love! P.S. I heard on like Access Hollywood or something along those lines, that Tyler Perry will be presenting at the Academy Awards and my immediate reaction was, "Wonder what his gown will look like." Also, Tyler Perry really ought to be the host of RuPaul's Drag Race. Medea is WAY more successful than RuPaul who had one hit on the Club charts back in 1993!
Okay, so I don't really know who Flip Wilson OR Geraldine is. It was a present for Richard. Apparently, he had one as a kid and talked about it all the time. It originally talked, but I think most talking dolls from the 60s and 70s no longer function. Something about the plastic they used degraded over time. (Seriously, you get more useless information from this blog than one of those "random fact" books people keep in their bathrooms!)
They did, however make a doll based on J.J. Evans from Good Times and I remember the shit out of that show! ("Damn! DAMN! DAMN!")
STRONGEST! BLACK WOMAN!! EVER!!! (Screw J.J.! I want a Florida Evans doll!)

So anyway, I thought I'd share some of my reactions to the Shindana toy catalog from 1976. It's a damn shame this baby will grow up with Mo'Nique as her abusive mother and have two babies by her own father. (Topical!)I want the one in the belly tee! All baby girls should wear belly tees! Way awesomer than Raggedy Ann!Who wants to come over for Game Night? We're playing the great new board game, Feel The Soul! I can't imagine how that translates to a board game. Is the winner determined by whoever can make the white person next to them the most nervous? Do you win if they get up and cross to the other side of the game table? And, I shouldn't have to ask but I assume dancing is involved, right?So THAT'S how my Barbie got dismembered.

Ladies and gentlemen... the most BAD ASS TOY EVER!!!Holy shit! I need that RIGHT NOW!!! Apparently, they didn't want to pony up the cash for the rights to make an actual Shaft doll, so instead the COMPLETELY RIPPED IT OFF!!! Who's the black, hunk of plastic who's a sex machine to all the chicks? SLADE! Damn right. (In the parallel universe of AWESOME, that was the actual toy jingle.) HOWEVER, way to totally ruin the Bad Ass-itude with that ridiculous Baked Potato foil outfit! What the hell is that even supposed to be? Are those shoulder-length opera gloves?! UGH! Foul, Shindana! FOUL!!! Even so... I think I'm in love!

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