Friday, November 11, 2011

Long Overdue Post

Apologies! I'm having trouble with my web browsers... all of them. Among other issues, I can't access Blogger from my PC! I've run Kaspersky several times and while it's found some issues, for whatever it can't seem to fix that one. Anyhoo... How've you been? It's been a while.

So, since you've surely been following my prattling on in regard to Marvel and DC Comics, I'm going to use this little forum to discuss Archie Comics. (Not all the time, don't panic!) First, I finally got around to checking out the much discussed 'Kevin Keller' comic. God, what a Mary Sue!

If you aren't familiar with that term, it's used to refer to a character that is clearly the writer's "darling." It's often used in reference to Wesley Crusher on 'ST:TNG.' BUT the term originated with fan fic. Usually, it refers to when a writer inserts themself into the story and they are flawless... smart, attractive, the key to any situation. Such as 'When Ken Arrived At Hogwarts' or 'When Kevin Arrived at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters' or 'When Kevin Arrived In Riverdale'... ahem.

Kevin Keller is the new gay resident of Riverdale. He's hot, patriotic (wants to join the military just like his dad), can eat as much as Jughead and zzzzzzzzzzz... Hate. He's so perfect at everything, he's completely boring. Plus, he has his own set of pals that just happen to visit Riverdale every issue, so he's not even that integrated into the regular Archie gang. Okay, Archie comics aren't Faulkner. I know this. If Archie comics are vanilla, Kevin Keller is plain white rice. He's THAT! BORING!

Now onto something that isn't plain white rice, 'Life With Archie: The Married Life.' I've blogged about this before, it's a monthly two-part comic that features two parallel tales. In one, Archie married Veronica and is completely miserable. In the other, he married Betty and is completely miserable.

They're ALL miserable! In fact, Veronica's DEAD in the Archie married Betty world! Miss Grundy died in the... I think it was the same reality. It's getting hard to keep them straight!

In one reality, Archie married Veronica and went to work for Lodge Industries. Rumors abound that Ronnie is cheating with Reggie. Mr. Lodge is up to something shady... which is all he's ever up to. Moose is the mayor of Riverdale! Really? Moose?

In the other reality, Archie married Betty and they moved to New York and met a whole new cast of friends, including a grown up version of Little Ambrose, a character from the 'Little Archie' comics. Then they all went away as Archie and Betty returned to Riverdale and went to work at the high school, Archie as the music teacher and Betty as the guidance counselor. In this reality, Moose is the janitor at the high school. Not quite the same as Mayor.

In both realities, Nancy and Chuck are struggling. It's got to be hard being the only two black people in that town.

And Dilton Doily appears to hold all the answers as he is somehow able to travel between the two realities and even take people with him, explaining his recent meeting with TWO Mr. Lodges! Things are really going to shit for the Archie gang! I expect next issue that Josie from the Pussycats will die of a heroine overdose and Cheryl Blossom's sex tape will hit the Internet.

I can't explain my attraction to this series! I haven't read an Archie comic since I was 13! And it's soooooooo depressing! But I can't stop! It's addicting!

Fun fact, the version they sell at comic shops is cheaper than the one they sell at other stores... because the ones at Target and such have added articles about Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber or whoever is popular that month! Screw that! I don't need that mess! I'm waiting to see which of my beloved childhood icons is going to slit their wrists this month!