Guess Who's A Professional Writer!

So, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting very much over the past few weeks. I must admit, part of it was just lack of topics. The other part is that I was in negotiations to join the team at Sciencefiction.com as a professional writer. (Bookmark it now, before you forget!) Unfortunately, Patrick, the site's owner had other commitments and was busy, so the process took several weeks... several excruciating weeks on my end. But finally, things worked out, thanks to my old friend Brian who already writes for the site and now, I'm officially on board!

Brian, myself and another writer, Scott, will be covering the New 52... all of it! That's a lotta books, so we've divided them up and here's what I will be covering. First this coming week, starting on 09/07, look for my takes on...
Animal Man... which Newsarama proclaimed to be the BEST book in the entire 52 lineup, so I am really intrigued there!
Batwing... I'm certain I got this one because of the pink and teal suit, since all my clothes in real life are pink and teal. (That's only barely not true.) I also think I got all the minority characters, except Firestorm. Hmmm.
Hawk & Dove and...
O.M.A.C., both of which I think I got because I'm the new guy and neither of the other two wanted to read them.

The following week, starting on 09/14, look for my takes on...
Batwoman... which I can already tell you is going to be faaaaaabulous!
Demon Knights, another book with strong buzz!
Mr. Terrific, because I ain't white!
Superboy... one from which I really don't know what to expect, so we'll see...

On the week of 09/21, I'll be reviewing...
Birds of Prey, wherein, I will spend many paragraphs going on about Black Canary's new sandals.
The mysterious, Dr. Manhattan Captain Atom!
The bra-less wonder, Catwoman! Just one of the trifecta of super divas...
The kneepads-free, Supergirl!
And of course, you know I gotsta review Wonder Woman, ya'll!

And finally, on 9/27, look for my reviews for...
Aquaman! See Batwoman!
Military action with the Blackhawks!
It's like Twilight, except a comic book! I, Vampire!
And finally, the Savage Hawkman! There better be a Ferocious Hawkgirl in the book, sooner than later!

And of course, I will be reading a whole lot more of these books than that, so should I feel compelled to write about those, be sure and look for my musings right back here! I am THRILLED by this opportunity and hope it works out in the long run! So tell all your friends and make sure to leave copious comments so they think I'm doing a good job!

The New JLA Revealed?

This image seems to indicate the full JLA lineup come September. On the left, from the top down, we have Deadman, Atom, Element Woman and Firestorm (just one Firestorm, so I'm hoping that the dual Firestorms on the cover of his/their own title is just symbolic). On the right, from top to bottom, we have Green Arrow, Hawkman, Black Canary (maybe) and Mera.

Element Woman may or may not be a new character. Here we have her design and she apparently has the power to "control elements." Uh huh. That should have been obvious. Firestorm can already transmute elements, so I'm not sure how this new character brings anything new to the table.

Actually, I'm not sure she is a new character. Back in the Silver Age, there was briefly an Element Girl who was a feminized version of Metamorpho and had his same power set, the ability to turn her body into any element. But I don't know if Element Woman is an update of this character (she LOOKS very similar) or someone completely new. (Also, why not just use Metamorpho? He's really not that big a character that he needs a female doppelganger!)

As for Black Canary, she very clearly looks like Black Canary... the real Black Canary, that is, not the updated one on the Birds of Prey cover, leading some to speculate that this isn't her. I still think it is, though.

Overall, it's a pretty basic and classic lineup. Cyborg, Deadman, Element Woman and Mera are the only "non-classic" JLA members. Mera's presence isn't that surprising, since she's grown in popularity so much in the last couple of years. And lest you think she's redundant with Aquaman on the team, keep in mind she has a completely different power set (the power to manipulate water) and also, Hawkman and Hawkwoman were on the team together for years! Hell, Hal Jordan and John Stewart have both been active on the team at the same time!

File this under the FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK File. DC has killed off Donna Troy AGAIN!!! By her nature, she'll probably come back... AGAIN, but geez! Come on!

EDIT/UPDATE: I've read speculation that the character I referred to as Black Canary is actually either Power Girl (she DOES seem to have short hair, now that I look closer) or Zealot from WildCATS (she DOES seem to have white hair, plus fellow CATS Grifter and Voodoo are getting their own books, so it's not inconceivable.) With Power Girl... good for her, I guess, but when you already have Superman and Wonder Woman on the team, it's hard to see what niche she'll fill. And if it's Zealot, once again, warrior woman with a sword... you already have Wonder Woman who sometimes uses a sword, so what makes Zealot useful? (Also, you know which CAT I was partial to? Void! I wonder what's up with her.)

WTFriday?! - More Post-Flashpoint News

Well, since my last post, more news has surfaced about the upcoming relaunch of the entire line of DC Comics. #1 is that Nightwing will be getting his own book back... it is possible that they'll pull some shenanigans and it won't be Dick Grayson, but I kinda doubt that, what with all the other shenanigans they're pulling, that they'd like, y'know, slip Jason Todd into the role or something. So I predict Dick will be Nightwing again, since with like 25 years under his belt, he's established himself pretty firmly in that identity. This negates my guess that the original Teen Titans would be returning to their old sidekick roles in keeping with the Young Justice cartoon. Which is fine by me.


I also assume this means Tim Drake will drop the "Red" and just return to being just plain Robin. Damian Wayne proved pretty popular (for such a nasty little shit), but I'm guessing he'll either be negated or he'll be like five years old or something. Sadly, I think the same goes for the various Batgirls that are not Barbara Gordon.

DC's solicitation for The Flash #1: Rising superstar Francis Manapul, fresh off his acclaimed run on THE FLASH with Geoff Johns, makes his comics writing debut in THE FLASH #1, sharing both scripting and art duties with Brian Buccellato. The Flash knows he can’t be everywhere at once, but what happens when he faces an all-new villain who can? The cover to issue #1 is by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato.

Hmmm, well it's no surprise that this Flash is Barry Allen, as his was the most unexpected and controversial resurrection in comics since Bucky over at Marvel. They certainly wouldn't reintroduce him and just cast him aside. But that begs the question, what about Wally West?


Wally has served as The Flash for almost as long as Dick Grayson has been Nightwing. He was featured on the Justice League animated series. What are they going to do with him? Rumor has it, he'll be spearheading a book called Speed Force. Once again, this disproves my guess that DC would actually use this as an opportunity to simplify their continuity and establish that there is just one of each big name character. I mean, I love Wally, not to mention all the various Green Lanterns, but it's confusing. This was the reason for the very first Crisis in 1985, to establish that there is just one Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, etc. We've got three Flashes running around right now (pun intended) plus Kid Flash, Jessie Quick, XS, Wally's kids... eh whatever, what do I know?

And speaking of the Green Lanterns, they're all safe too. Hal will continue headlining the main Green Lantern book, Guy and John will be featured in GL Corps and Kyle will be leading The New Guardians, a team composed of Lanterns from each spectrum, including I would assume St. Walker (below), one of my favorite characters from the Lantern pantheon.
Guy Gardner will also be featured in Justice League International. Here is DC's solicit: A team of internationally-drafted superheroes fight each other and their bureaucratic supervisors as much as they do global crime in JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #1 from writer Dan Jurgens and artist Aaron Lopresti. The cover to issue #1 is by Aaron Lopresti.

Hmmm, Vixen. And Fire & Ice. I am a fan. I'll check this book out. I expected Blue Beetle to be included... one of them at any rate. Maybe that's coming up? However, I think Vixen should be in the MAIN Justice League, not some off-shoot. (The lady in the black and gold costume is apparently a new character.)

DC is making it hard to stick by my "not buying monthly comics anymore" declaration when they keep sticking creative dream teams on these books like Wonder Woman which will now be drawn by the absolutely fantastic Cliff Chiang! Solicit: New York Times bestselling writer Brian Azzarello, author of The Joker and 100 Bullets, teams up with the immensely talented artist Cliff Chiang (Neil Young’s Greendale) for WONDER WOMAN #1, an exciting new series starring the DC Universe’s greatest superheroine. The cover to issue #1 is by Cliff Chiang.

Cliff Chiang draws some of the best women in comics! He's up there with Amanda Conner! He even makes this ridiculous Jim Lee-designed mess passable. But are they fucking kidding me with those goddamn navy boots? Fuck! Have you learned nothing, DC?!

Geoff Johns, one of comics’ greatest storytellers, reunites with GREEN LANTERN and BRIGHTEST DAY collaborator Ivan Reis to bring you a thrilling new take on the fan-favorite hero of the sea in AQUAMAN #1. The cover to issue #1 is by Ivan Reis and Joe Prado.

Johns loves Aquaman and his cast and did a fantastic job depicting them in Brightest Day and Ivan Reis is just amazing, so... you couldn't ask for a better team to assign to an ongoing Aquaman book! Once again, I just can't NOT buy this book! It's everything I could hope for as an Aquafan! (But to quote RuPaul, "Don't fuck it up.")

I forgot to mention this last time, but it seems like DC has just decided to abandon the name "Captain Marvel" since they can't use it on anything they release, not even toys and such. Fun fact: In his very first appearance, the hero-that-cannot-be-released-as-Captain Marvel was actually named Captain Thunder. DC also attempted to launch characters named Captain Thunder at various times, including a black version of Captain Marvel. So now... they've just decided the Shazam-powered hero is called just that, Captain Thunder. This character may or may not be in the new Justice League, but it seems highly likely that he will get his own series. (Also, everyone is talking about how He-Man-ish that transformation sequence looks. "I have the powerrrrrrrrrr!" I mean look at Mr. Tawky Tawny in Battle Cat Armor!!!)

It looks like when they said they were trying to diversify their ranks, that they didn't just mean that Cyborg was now going to be in the Justice League. Another hero of color, Mr. Terrific is getting his own book.

The world’s third-smartest man – and one of its most eligible bachelors – uses his brains and fists against science gone mad in MISTER TERRIFIC #1, the new series from writer Eric Wallace and artist Roger Robinson. The cover to issue #1 is by J.G. Jones.

I am not familiar with the creators on this book, but I have long thought Mr. T, rotten name and all, should star in his own book. He's like Black Batman! He was even banging Batman's ex, Sasha Bordeaux! I wonder if that will change, however, since they made a point of stating that he was an "eligible bachelor"... which I find odd in a listing for a super hero comic. I hope that this doesn't mean the book is in any way like The Bachelor. Or do I?

When this announcement was first made, they stressed that this wasn't a hard reboot from the ground up, that they were just stepping back a few years so that the characters were younger (translation: single and ready to mingle), but their solicitation for Firestorm clearly indicated that this IS a hard reboot with no connection to established continuity.

Welcome to a major new vision of the Nuclear Man as writers Ethan Van Sciver and Gail Simone team up with artist Yildiray Cinar to deliver THE FURY OF FIRESTORM #1. Jason Rusch and Ronnie Raymond are two high school students, worlds apart – and now they’re drawn into a conspiracy of super science that bonds them forever in a way they can’t explain or control. The cover to issue #1 is by Ethan Van Sciver.

It LOOKS like Jason and Ronnie are two separate Firestorms (and who is that in the background?), which if that is the case, sucks, because the two-people-fused-together thing was the main thing that made Firestorm unique. And those costumes look awful all in one solid color. Boo! Did you learn nothing from Superman Red and Superman Blue?

There were also solicits for Hawkman, Green Arrow and Captain Atom, none of which I care about, so I won't really discuss them too in-depth. Hawkman looks stupid. Hate the new helmet and no word on Hawkgirl/woman. Green Arrow sounds like Green Arrow. Captain Atom sounds like Dr. Manhattan. And there's a new anthology book called Braver and Bolder, which features Deadman on the first cover. Keep in mind there are going to be 52 new books, so this is just the beginning.

They did say there will be a Teen Titans and Birds of Prey, but no specifics. I'm guess in the case of Birds it's because they don't want to ruin the "surprise" (that everyone already knows about) of Barbara Gordon returning as Batgirl. And who knows about Titans. I really hope they leave that as close to the way it is now as possible, Robin (Tim), Superboy, Wonder Girl (Cassie), Kid Flash (Bart)... I'd add Aqualad.

Just to keep track, that's...
1. Justice League (or America, presumably)
2. Action Comics
3. Detective Comics
4. Wonder Woman
5. Aquaman
6. Green Lantern
7. GL Corps
8. GL: New Guardians
9. Green Arrow
10. Hawkman
11. Flash
12. Captain Atom
13. Braver & Bolder
14. Nightwing
15. Batgirl
16. Justice League International
17. Mr. Terrific
18. Justice Society of America
19. Firestorm
20. Teen Titans
21. Birds of Prey

Also, rumored/presumed:
22. Speed Force
23. Shazam/Captain Thunder

I image a 5,035th revamp of Legion of Super Heroes is in the mix. But geez, so much for that diversity declaration. ONE African American hero getting his own book? (Okay, so Jason Rusch is HALF a hero and John Stewart is sharing Corps with Guy, so that's HALF a book, so add them together to get ONE additional, so that equals TWO.) And Cyborg and Vixen are parts of teams, so that doesn't count. And only TWO females on top of that, Wonder Woman and Batgirl! I get that there are more titles to be announced. I assume Batwoman is still in the works, so that's one more woman and a LGBT character on top of that. I would assume that Supergirl will also be getting her own series. I'm not sure how the sales on Zatanna were, so she may or may not be coming back in her own title. Black Canary will, I'm sure, be part of Birds of Prey. It would have been really bold for DC to make the new Captain Thunder the original 70s African American version. If there's a time to take some chances, it's now. I'd have loved to have seen Vixen in her own book or Dr. Light in the JLA or JLI lineup.

Oh, I almost forgot! Speaking of female heroes, they have declared that ALL of their females will now be dressing more modestly. I'm not quite sure what their definition of modest is, as Wonder Woman's suit is still the skimpiest in the Justice League. But THANK HERA, that we'll soon be rid of this:
Not to mention this...
And this...
But what about *GASP*, THIS?!:
Would they really cover up the most famous breastestess in all of comics?! Or what about Black Canary?
Those fishnets are the closest thing she has to a signature logo! Ditto Zatanna!
What equals skimpy? Honestly, not to go off on a whole different topic, but let's look at Supergirl for instance.
As drawn by her suit's designer Michael Turner, she looks like a mangy crack whore who's never eaten in her life and loves the shit outta some mascara. And hair bleach.
As drawn by her current illustrator, Jamal Igle, she looks perfectly healthy and modest. Her skirt is nearly knee-length and she wears "bike shorts" underneath, so no Britney/Paris/Lindsay peakaboo moments. He even lengthened her outrageously dated belly tee to cover more. (If only they could ditch that look altogether and give her a full shirt!) I mean, yes she has some skin exposed, but she's Supergirl and doesn't need outer garments to protect her. I don't really see anything wrong with this costume, minus the belly tee. And look at those lustrous locks as compared to the Turner illustration where she apparently has straw growing out of her head! She could do a Pantene commercial now! (Sorry, did this just turn into me bashing a dead artist... yeah, sorry, but I gotsta call 'em as I see 'em!)

Since I'm just meandering all over the place now, you know who needs a helluva redemption? Mary Marvel!
Will she be named Mary Thunder now? Hmmm. But anyway, once the purest, most innocent of super heroines, she became corrupted when she embraced the powers of Black Adam.
And was then possessed by the masochistic DeSaad and turned into this:
I mean... how... why... I mean, point A to Point Fucked Up. I really felt like her character had been just ruined for life, but with all this rebooting, she needs a fresh start like WOAH! Hmmm, that reminds me, another Shazam-related character, Isis could potentially get a fresh start as well. Maaaaan, an all-new Isis comic book? Sign me up!
A woman and she's Middle Eastern! Two Birds, DC! Just sayin'!

Hawkward Video + Probably The Last I Have To Say About the Wonder Woman Show

Here's a funny video I saw on Topless Robot:

I think I'm secretly just thankful that the subject wasn't Aquaman. I feel that Hawkman's frustration was deserved, though, because really... when you think about it, there are probably like five GODAWFUL super hero movies for every one good one!

But anyhoo... I think this image came out when I was visiting back home, so I didn't get a chance to post it:
It's, of course, Adrianne Palicki as Wonder Woman, wearing a suit that much more closely resembles the classic suit from the comics. You know what? It still doesn't please me and it really boils down to that is some ugly ass, cheap looking, pleather garbage! That's IT! That is really all that ruins it. Remember how pleased everyone was with the revelation that they'd swapped out the shiny pants for normal-looking fabric pants? But still unhappy with the bodice? That's it! That was the huge error. The fabric choice.

Also, the more I see it, I hate the bust line. It just looks like she's about to pop out at any second. Even if she doesn't have straps, this is just TOO low-cut. I really don't see how Adrianne stays modest in it!

Also, why is Powder there?