X-Men Anime

Topless Robot summed it up, yesterday. I hate April Fools day. It's not even that I've ever gotten punk't on it, I just hate the idea. (Well... I was fooled when Wizard ran their fake article about Alex Ross doing a Wonder Twins special, until the article made less and less sense and I realized it was a prank.)
(Hell, he even did a painting for the cover!) But anyway, it's a pain to sit there surfing your favorite blogs only to see like 85% of the articles are bullshit. And like OBVIOUSLY bullshit, too!
But anyway, I haven't covered this before. I guess while I like the X-Men, they're not my favorite concept. For one thing, there are way too many of them. For such a "minority," there are more X-Men than there are members of the Legion of Super Heroes. And unlike the Legion, with their Lightning Lad and Phantom Girl and Colossal Boy, most of the X-Men have stupid "cool" names that tell you nothing about the character or what they can do, like Gambit and Bishop and Cable and Beak and The Stepford Cuckoos and, um, Jean Grey. But I like them well enough, even though some of the newer developments and characters in the comics are a mystery to me.

But watching the opening titles, I'm like "HOLY SHIT!!! THIS LOOKS AWESOME!!!"

Not to get all DC Women Kicking Ass on it, but I can't help but notice that NEITHER Emma nor Jean/Phoenix nor Armor are given credits! That's THREE female members that the creators felt "Meh, not important enough" to warrant inclusion. (Although, apparently Jean is dead in this series... which makes her appearance in the credits strange.)

Here is another, previously released clip, which is also pretty action-packed:


The sad news is that this series is actually created for the Japanese market. It will air in the US... on G4 which no one gets anymore! So here's hoping for a US DVD release at some point. It looks really cool!
I loves me some Storm, so I am most excited about her appearance. Her costume is a nice homage to a lot of her former costumes. The hip cut-outs are a tad silly, but they recall her very first costume, so I'm okay with them. I prefer her with long flowing locks, though, not the Halle shag, but honestly, I'm okay either way.
I also like the inclusion of a newer character, Armor. I think her visual powers will translate very nicely onscreen. It already looks pretty awesome in the short clips here.The Cyclops design looks great... but what's up with that third awkward pose? Looks a tad fancy to me.

So, yeah, this looks great! Hope to see them in the US... eventually!

In Defense of the Hallmark Holiday

Heh. Remember those two? Yep, that was us just after we'd gotten engaged after dating for all of like four months. But y'know, when you know, you know. I just remember the first couple of days we were in Hawaii, reading in USA Today, how Disney had just aired a movie that was the highest rated cable program ever and how like five songs from it were on iTunes' top 10. That movie was the first High School Musical, so anytime I forget how long we've been together, I just have to look up HSM to figure that out. Yep, that's how my brain functions! (Getcha Head In The Game!)
I know a lot of single folk hate Valentines Day. They feel excluded because they aren't in a relationship. To these people, I say, count your blessings. Go out, get drunk and have sex. Most of us in relationships will only be doing ONE of those things!
Not that I regret my station in life, I completely understand how fortunate I am, but being in a relationship kinda sucks at times. That's why they don't make movies or TV shows about people that have been married for a long time, or if they do, it's all about raising kids or the couple seems to completely hate each other (Everybody Love Raymond? King of Queens?). Dating? Being single? That's interesting. Parent teacher conferences? Picking out carpet? Deciding what's for dinner? Not so much.
I never understood until just recently how freakin' important date nights are. Because it's just like dating all over again! No kids, no work (especially important, if you are married to a workaholic whose Blackberry is always firmly in hand), no money/bills (especially important if you are married to a shopaholic, ahem)...just each other. Just going out, being TOGETHER and enjoying each other's company. VITAL!
Valentine's Day is kind of like a "Congratulations! Neither of you killed the other this year! You should totally celebrate!" It's true! Sometimes you just want to kill your better half, but you don't and for that, you deserve a dozen roses and a lovely dinner.
So to those not in relationships, feeling excluded by a "Hallmark Holiday," I say DON'T feel bad. Feel lucky that you don't NEED Valentine's Day! Feel lucky that you probably get laid more than three times a year! Enjoy it while you can! Meanwhile, don't begrudge us battle-worn married for celebrating another year down, 50 more to go!

Valentines Day - Romance Novels Part 2

Welcome to day two of my Valentine's series devoted to the wacky world of tawdry romance novels. Today's subject: gettin' knocked up!
Woopseeeeeeeeee! There are a RIDICULOUS number of these books about having babies! WAY more than there are about Italians!The Italians strike again! Also, I'd say at least 50% of these involve SECRET babies! I'm not sure what a "secret baby" is... I guess they mean it in a Maury Povich way. Surprise, bastard! Ya knocked me up!
The Greeks are at it again, too! Baby REVENGE?! Once again, my life feels very empty right now, with my lack of revenge-seeking. Especially since 'twould appear that "revenge" equals "screwing." Was the revenge part that he knocked up his mistress, by chance?I see your "Secret Baby" and raise you one "CHRISTMAS Baby!" Yep, even more specifically, there is a whole sub-genre devoted to Christmas Babies! WTF?! Do women have some Virgin Mary fantasy I don't know about?! PS, everyone I know who has a Christmas birthday hates it because they always get screwed with combo presents and everyone is too busy with Christmas crap that a lot of times their friends can't even go to their parties and such! So keep that in mind, Ladies-With-A-Virgin-Mary-Complex!
A SECRET CHRISTMAS Baby! Trifecta! Aside: and you know NONE of these is about getting stretch marks or painfully swollen breasts or as Phaedra said, "poopin' on tables."
Surprise?! He's got his hand on her baby bump! Did he just think she was eating too many Hot Pockets all of a sudden?
Uh... that makes it sound like he's having the affair with the baby! Gross!
Jesus, someone call HR! How do women get ANY work done, if all they're doing is banging their bosses?! Where the hell do all of these people work, because I'm fairly certain I have no desire to patronize these companies! Hope they offer good medical benefits. These books set the Women's Movement back at least 50 years, so congrats!Royal? Uh... that's a cowboy. There are no royal cowboys!Far more special than The Rodeo Clown's Arbor Day Baby.
Now there's a girl with ambition! Land yo self a doctor, gurl! You'll never have to work again and then you don't have to worry about getting prego by your boss! Take that Bull Rider's wife!
Hired? I'm pretty sure child labor is still illegal.
So is marrying a baby! Geez, what is wrong with these people?
Look, we all need a billionaire! Your stupid baby doesn't make you any more deserving. Back of the line!
Well, ask and ye shall receive, I guess.
Is that all you got?
Take that! Speaking of counting...
But wait...
What, are the Duggars writing these?
This just sounds like when old people try to sound hip to impress youngsters and it's just sad and silly.
There have been like three romance novels written for African Americans EVER and THIS is what you call one?! Racist! It doesn't even have one of those painted fantasy covers looking all glamorous... just some pissed off bride. They should have titled it, "His Secret, Christmas, Black Baby" at the very least!

Valentine's Day - Tawdry Romance Novels

I forgot, I wanted to start this series yesterday on February 1st, in honor of Valentine's Day. My bad! (I also wanted to make this a daily feature, but now I'm not sure I can get that much mileage out of it, so probably not.)

One of the most amusing parts of my job is the once-a-month reset of the tawdry romance novels. I reset paperbacks, which are at least 90% tawdry romance novels more often, but those are generally the nice glossy ones, with the embossed covers... those are amusing too. I was particularly amused by this title:
But there's one fixture devoted to the Harlequin Presents... series and those titles are just a HOOT! I'm not quite sure I get romance novels, but they aren't written for me. I imagine it's something akin to fairy tales for grown women. A lot... A LOT of them involve royalty. And they're all pretty fanciful. I mean, it's never "The Couple That's Been Married For Seven Years and Still Haven't Killed Each Other." It's more like this...

There are always at least two or three at any given time devoted to romance with an Italian.
"Command" is the stupidest metaphor for "penis" ever!"Castellano" is totally an Italian name! "Mistress of Revenge?!" Y'know, I lead such an empty life. I have never once had to seek revenge on anyone! If only! And to have it involve a mistress at that?! Too much!How is a "Scorching Sicilian" different from a "Red-Hot Italian?" I suppose it's more specific. But Sophie, Annie, you ladies may want to sit down and compare notes because you both might be "Under the Command" of the same man! Is his name Nicolo by any chance?Quick! Who can tell me where Tuscany is?
Heeeeey... Italy doesn't have a Sheikh! Fail Harlequin! Wait, what? Not ALL of these books are about Italians? Never mind!
Gotta mix it up! Occasionally, they throw a Greek into the mix!

Finally...
In LARGE PRINT! Cause Nana needs her filthy lady porn, cataracts be damned!