Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Valentine's Day - Tawdry Romance Novels

I forgot, I wanted to start this series yesterday on February 1st, in honor of Valentine's Day. My bad! (I also wanted to make this a daily feature, but now I'm not sure I can get that much mileage out of it, so probably not.)

One of the most amusing parts of my job is the once-a-month reset of the tawdry romance novels. I reset paperbacks, which are at least 90% tawdry romance novels more often, but those are generally the nice glossy ones, with the embossed covers... those are amusing too. I was particularly amused by this title:
But there's one fixture devoted to the Harlequin Presents... series and those titles are just a HOOT! I'm not quite sure I get romance novels, but they aren't written for me. I imagine it's something akin to fairy tales for grown women. A lot... A LOT of them involve royalty. And they're all pretty fanciful. I mean, it's never "The Couple That's Been Married For Seven Years and Still Haven't Killed Each Other." It's more like this...

There are always at least two or three at any given time devoted to romance with an Italian.
"Command" is the stupidest metaphor for "penis" ever!"Castellano" is totally an Italian name! "Mistress of Revenge?!" Y'know, I lead such an empty life. I have never once had to seek revenge on anyone! If only! And to have it involve a mistress at that?! Too much!How is a "Scorching Sicilian" different from a "Red-Hot Italian?" I suppose it's more specific. But Sophie, Annie, you ladies may want to sit down and compare notes because you both might be "Under the Command" of the same man! Is his name Nicolo by any chance?Quick! Who can tell me where Tuscany is?
Heeeeey... Italy doesn't have a Sheikh! Fail Harlequin! Wait, what? Not ALL of these books are about Italians? Never mind!
Gotta mix it up! Occasionally, they throw a Greek into the mix!

In LARGE PRINT! Cause Nana needs her filthy lady porn, cataracts be damned!

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