Rob Gronkowski

I think I've found a suitable replacement for unhealthy obsession with Tim Tebow.  Introducing Rob Gronkowski!

Awww!  Cute!

Ben Cohen

This one actually has a message.  Ben Cohen, rugby tough guy, has been hard at work promoting his nonprofit charity Stand Up which is taking aim at teen bulying of gay kids.  Apparently, this involves him taking off his clothes.  Now THAT is what I call charity!

MANic Monday - Ben Cohen

Ben Cohen is a British rugby star... correction, former rugby star. He's retiring to devote all his time to his gay advocacy/anti-bullying charity... did I mention he's straight? That's admirable as HELL, not only is he a straight male celebrity, but a sports star. Sigh! My hero! He's damn easy on the eyes, too!

MANic Monday 11-29-10 Ochocinco Edition

So Ochocinco posed for this ad for Peta, except... aren't footballs made of pigskin or is that just an expression? They're made of some kind of leather, though, right? So are football shoes, right? Just wondering...

MANic Monday 08-30-10 Football Edition

This is probably the first football themed blog since last year's Fantasy Football blog, which I can't top, so I won't even try. (It's like my "Thriller!") But anyway...

You ever have those times when a bunch of people are all talking at the same time, and you mutter something that you maybe don't want everyone to hear, but as soon as it escapes your mouth, everyone shuts up so everyone DOES hear it? This happened at work a couple weeks ago when the new Madden game came out and I was supposed to present it at Tune-In Tuesday (which, by the way, I dubbed my Tuesday blog way before I found out that Target used it as well... and now coincidentally, I do that job). See, each platform had a different picture on the cover, all featuring today's subject, Tim Tebow. The statement I made, just casually, more to myself than anyone else, is "He's hot." So now, at work, I'm like "The guy that thinks Tim Tebow is hot." Which... I mean, he is, but... sigh, what are you gonna do?

Yeah, I don't even care how old... or rather how young he is. Or that he's all Krazy Kristian or that he's a virgin. I don't even care what this "football you speak of" is. I'd do that every shade of filthy! It would be all, "In my ear? Aw hell, go for it!"A-Dor-A-Ble! And that baby could not be any less impressed!

Am I alone in thinking those stretchy undershirts are like the hottest thing ever invented?

Nice!

Aw, come on... you get an endorsement deal with Jockey and this is all you give me? A tee shirt! Come one man!

Gla... blagh... ah... grblahh... sorry, I couldn't form words there for a second.
Whump! That one just knocked me onto the floor.
The End!

March Sanity

God I hate basketball. It's like people just HAVE to have some sport going on for their lives to be fulfilled. Football's over. Baseball hasn't started. "What EVER shall we do with ourselves?! We MUST have some excuse to eat chips and drink beer and ignore reality!" With baseball, I don't like it or anything, but overall it doesn't really bother me. It's kinda like those homeless people downtown that sell Street Vibes. You can say no and they still tell you to have a nice day. Baseball is the somewhat employed, genial homeless person of sports. (Metaphor!) Football... has hot guys. That's all I got. With basketball... ugh! I hate it! The only thing I want to see enormous black men doing is dressing like enormous black women.I love how on RuPaul's Drag Race, she says, in the most dire and serious tone ever, "It's time... to lipsynch... FOR YOUR LIFE." Which is a fallacy, since the eliminated drag queen is never actually put down. Though I don't normally risk death, I think it might be worth it to find an actual situation where lipsynching really could save your life. Like I'm so close to a hungry, pissed off grizzly bear that it's breath is fogging up my glasses... and then, "All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!) All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!) Put'cha hands up!" And death averted!
Foolproof. Suck it MacGuyver!

Well, speaking of nothing interesting going on in March, as everyone knows, I am decidedly PRO-teen idol. Even the ones like Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner, who are just kinda popular because they're pretty. (And HOW pretty they are!) In fact, I realized today, after navigating around the huge Twilight kiosk at work all day, that I'm fairly certain Taylor Lautner is screwed. He's famous for being in Twilight and having killer abs. Where do you go from there? No straight guy can ever go to one of his movies without seeming gay. Taylor could probably actually turn a few guys if he wanted. But I digress. Most male actors might be attractive, but they still have SOME guy-appeal, but I'm pretty sure Taylor does not. Poor Button!
Though I might be pro-teen idol in general, I am decidedly anti-Justin Bieber. Sorry, humanity, you lost me. That squeaky, pre-pubescent voice worked well all of thrice, Michael Jackson, Ralph Tresvant from New Edition and Joey MacIntyre. No more! Yuck! I don't get that at all. At least Taylor Hanson sounded vaguely like a guy. Kinda. JB just sounds to be shrieking... except like through his nose. This is coming from me and I listen to some SHITTY singers! (Don-don't be tardy for the party.)

Also, NOT THAT I'M LOOKING, but he's not even cute. Not ugly, but not cute. Cathy used to hate the Jonas Brothers' hair, but Bieber's is worse to me. It's just flat and boring and unkempt.

He kinda creeps me out a tad. Like the way clowns creep some people... er, everybody... out. Don't know what it is. He's like some reptile or something. Not diggin' it, folks!

Last I checked, Captain America Wasn't Smug

Sigh. Looks like Chris Pine is out as Captain America. Guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. It was too good to be true.It now looks like John Krasinski has it locked up.
Wigga-whaaaaa--?! I mean, I guess he's... tall. Nope, sorry H'Wood! Poor choice! I mean, I like The Office as much as the next person... although I like it less than The Office (the original, British version... yep, I'm one of those). But the only real character trait he has is smugness, and that doesn't strike me as being Captain America-esque. He's also kinda the most boring part of the entire show. And like the rest of the free world, I have completely ignored his ventures out into other roles. Boo!
Originally, I actually HAAAAAAAATED Jim. The main reason being, he was not the absolutely adorable Tim from The (original) Office. Tim, at least was self-depreciating. Jim is not. He is smug and cocky. I thought I'd gotten over that, until either earlier this season or last season, when things stopped working out for him and he started not getting his way all the time and I LIKED it.

Cathy once got upset that someone (I think it was Deborah) referred to Jim as "so ugly he's cute." I can't disagree with that assessment. He's not ugly, but physically, he's not really all that good-looking. He just has a "way about him" that makes him more attractive.

Kinda like Peyton Manning:
When I went to Indianapolis a few years ago, his face was plastered all over these billboards and they were THE UGLIEST PICS I have ever seen of any person ever! (Okay, that may be an exaggeration... but they were still fug!) But he also has a certain charm and likability, which makes him MUCH more attractive.

John Krasinski is the same way. I mean, look at that huge nose and that horse-y face. But he's witty and charming, so that makes him more appealing.

In fact, I think I'd buy Peyton Manning as Captain America before I would John Krasinski. He just... doesn't fit! Guess we'll have to wait and see, but I'm not digging this choice and I will put that on the record. (Table slap!)