Friday, December 18, 2009

Visions of Sugar Plums

Sigh. First, a few weeks ago, I went to put on my skinny jeans and... let's just say they were too skinny. Grrr. Second, I bought new underwear, from Aussie Bum, a brand I already own numerous pairs by, but when I put them on, "Oh, guess what, bitch? You ain't a size XS anymore!" And they were hella cute too! Here they are NOT modeled by me:
Frosty:I realized a long time ago that no matter how cute the undies, they're never AS cute when I put them on as they looked on the model advertising them. Even so, how KEWT are these?! Normally, I am not on board with seasonal novelty drawers, but I HAD to make an exception this time, don't you agree?

Anyway, this blog is a tribute to delicious holiday treats. Whereas Halloween can be marred by a wide range of terrible candy, I really can only find two problems with Christmas candy:
Ribbon Candy. It's fine if you like stuff like Rock Candy, which I do not. This is JUST sugar. I like a bit more complexity.
And Cherry Cordials... Chocolate? Yum. Cherries? Yum. Together... yuck! I blame that gooey filling, which I think is just corn syrup or something like that. Chocolate and cherries alone would probably rock, but that extra sugary punch in the mouth spoils the fun.
'Twouldn't be Christmas without Candy Canes. I like peppermint, but I never really cared about these things. I especially disliked the giant foot-long candy canes. I don't understand oversized sweets in general, like the HUGE Hershey Kiss. Who wants that?! As everyone knows, treats are better the smaller they are. Therefore, cupcakes>regular cake. Snickers bite-sized>Snickers Fun-Sized>Full-Sized Snickers.

The one really fun thing to do with a Candy Cane, which also works with stick candies, the kind you can get from Cracker Barrel, is twirl them round and round in your mouth until the point is sharpened to a fine point and then poke someone with it. Tee hee, cheeky!
Preferable to hard Candy Canes and small Starlight Mints, are Soft Peppermints, available in balls and sticks. ... Nah, too easy. I like how the while powdery part dissolves before the red stripey part. I don't know why, but I do.

Mint lends itself so well to sweets... Like Candy Canes, it wouldn't be Christmas without...
Peppermint Bark! We sold out of the Ghirardelli brand in like two days! YUM!
I like anything chocolatey and minty! Including...
Starbucks' Chocolate Peppermint Mocha! I had one by chance yeeeeaaaaarrrs ago at TPCC and was hooked ever since. (Although now, apparently Fatty McFatFat needs to switch to the Low Fat, Sugar Free version.) Also, I tried the Peppermint WHITE Chocolate Mocha and it is equally nummy. I leave off the whipped cream though. It's sweet enough without.
New this year is the Caramel Brulee Latte, topped with caramelized sugar! (Once again, leave off the whipped... or don't depending on your palette.) Sadly, the Starbucks at Target ran out of the Caramel Brulee syrup and won't be getting it back in. Darn you seasonal deliciousness! But the Peppermint Mochas can be ordered year-round.
Speaking of seasonal flavors, years ago, I fell in love with Graeter's Cinnamon Ice Cream (made with cinnamon imported from Saigon! Really?!), available only in December. Fabulous on its own, but throw on some warm apple topping and caramel and get ready to die from pleasure! (So that's what was in the big machine in Barbarella. Anyone? Anyone?)

I did not like so much the Peppermint Candy ice cream, loaded with huge chunks of peppermint candies (i.e. Starlight Mints). Maybe if the chunks were smaller, it would be better, but eventually, I just started spitting the candy out and wound up with a pile big enough to fill a candy dish. NO ONE wants to eat that many mints! Just imagine, taking a candy dish full of Starlight Mints and just consuming them one by one! Completely unappealing, isn't it?

There are lots of yummy types of Christmas cookies, but strangely, as simple as they are, I will always love plain ol' Danish Butter Cookies in the blue metal tin:
I don't know why they even make different kinds. They all taste the same... yummy! Must be the "butter." I will also add, though not holiday related, the best Pepperidge Farm cookie is also the most simplistic, Chessmen. I love Mint Milanos and a bunch of their other types, but Chessmen as so simple yet so delightful! Big up to Chessmen!
My second favorite are Thumbprint Cookies. I made these a couple years ago, but they didn't look this pretty. Regardless, I love these! Grape or Strawberry are probably the best. Cherry would probably be good too. Apricot, eh.

Regular readers should realize I do like complex flavors, so it's no surprise that the idea of sweet mixed with salty is just heavenly to me. Best exemplified by...
Chocolate Covered Pretzels! Available by the rod (once again, too easy)...
or in twists. I think I like the twists better, in keeping with my smaller portions are better mentality. That one at the very top covered with pastel mints is, I promise you, the best tasting thing ever, although I have never had one. I mean just look at it! (I LOVE pastel mints! I think it's the butter, once again!)

As yummy as Chocolate Covered Pretzels are, and how popular they are, everyone balks when I mention...
Chocolate Covered Potato Chips! Trust me, they are great! They're better with just a bit of chocolate. I want the chocolate to chip ratio to be as equal as possible. Too often, I get them and it's basically a piece of chocolate with something crunchy in it. I could've just had a Nestle's Crunch if that's all I wanted. I want it all balanced, crunchy, sweet and salty. Mmmmmm!

Grrr... so much for fitting into my skinny jeans and cute undies.

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