Tuesday, June 7, 2011

DCZzzzzzzzzz... But First...

These are the new McFarlane Walking Dead figures of Rick and Michone:
Wait a second! You mean, I've been reading this book for this long and never realized that Michone was a FUCKING HOOKER?! Are you kidding me?! Okay, so I get that toy designers are probably not fashionistas, but FER SERIOUS?! Some idiot thought, "You know what a zombie apocalypse survivor would most likely choose to wear? A purple pleather tiger-stripe miniskirt and a plunging purple pleather vest. DONE!" That's not even classy call girl gear, that's back alley crack ho wear! Michone, GURL, 99.99% of the world is dead. That means all the department stores are abandoned. You don't HAVE to shop at Hustler Hollywood! That is a fucking disgrace and Robert Kirkman, if you approved that shit, you need to bow your head in shame! GODDAMMIT! You know how much I would love a Michone action figure?! An indecent amount... but not Power Action Street Walker Michone! Nuh uh!!! (Finger waggle!)

(Damn, I get sassy when I get all riled up!) Anyhoo, here are DC's latest revelations... except for the first one, they tend to be kinda Vertigo-esque.
Batwing - Starring the Batman of Africa. M'kay, I was complaining about the lack of ethnicities, but... okay, really, is that a PINK suit of armor?! I mean, I'd rock the shit outta that, but I can hear the jabs already. Wurq it, Gurl! (Whu Knu U was the sassiest letter in the alphabet? I shur didn't... u?)
Animal Man
Demon Knights (set in the Middle Ages, so that should have fuck all to do with the rest of the line)
I, Vampire
Resurrection Man (Sorry, I don't give a shit about any of these, so no comments...)
Justice League Dark... some of DC's supernatural characters teamed up, including MAYBE Zatanna in the corset with fishnet arm band. The biggest surprise is John Constantine (star of Hellblazer), returning a la Swamp Thing to the mainstream DCU proper.

The biggest surprise was...
Voodoo, a character who appeared in the 90s Image-then-Wildstorm series WildC.A.T.S. Yeah, DC bought Wildstorm, but there's been little co-mingling of the two companies. Now suddenly, one of its characters gets her own series in the (revamped) DCU? Well, HELL! What else do they have up their sleeves? (Some Milestone characters better pop up with the quickness!)

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