Monday, November 2, 2009

Halloween Postscript

I don't know about you, but Halloween this year was kind of a bust. I didn't go to any parties. I didn't even dress up at any point. Also, we didn't get many trick-or-treaters. Only about 20! I still have half a tub full... and it's the good stuff, Milk Chocolate and Peanut M&Ms, Snickers, Milky Ways, Nerds and Skittles and I was even giving each kid two pieces. (David felt the need to sift through it, then when I asked what he was looking for, replied "Reese's cups." It's always the ONE thing I didn't get that people want. No pleasing.)

I'm going to add one more candy to my list of worsts: 3 Musketeers.
Does anyone like them? At my Target orientation, they had a basket of bite-sized candy bars and everyone was going after the same ones, Twix (my FAVE!), Snickers, Milky Ways... no one took the 3 Muskies, which reinforced my feeling that this is the worst of all the candy bars. It's just chocolate and nugat. Add caramel and it's a Milky Way. Add peanuts to a MW and it's a Snickers. I guess those two ingredients make all the difference. I'd rather eat a plain ol' Hershey bar than a 3 Muskie. Those just suck! They should stop making them.

Anyhoo, I went to Target orientation on Sunday and it was four hours consisting of three and a half hours of the exact same orientation I have ever had to sit through for any job, i.e. don't steal or sexually harrass anyone, with the addition of "unions are bad." Seriously, the anti-union video was longer than ANY of the other videos that, y'know, taught you how to do YOUR JOB. This appears to be quite the Monkey Job, which is fine. After having to jump through hoop after hoop at my last job, I could use the break. The one drawback is that, despite having shopped at that Target at least once a week for the past three years, people kept asking to help them find crap that I'd never buy, like light bulbs and electric heaters. I can tell you where the action figures and Jonas Brothers bedding is, but don't ask me for anything practical. I have no idea where that junk is! I'm just going to start telling people, "I'd help you, but you're buying boring stuff, so find it on your own." Not really, but you KNOW I'll be thinking it.

Sadly, turns out I won't get the one super perk I thought I'd get, first crack at new toys. It's againt policy to put things aside, buy anything from the back room, buy anything while I'm working, etc. (I can be on my break, however.) But it has to go on the shelves first so guests get first crack. Even so, I scored my first employee purchases last night:
Justice League Unlimited Blackhawk figure and...
Taylor Lautner paper plates, so I can actually EAT OFF OF Taylor Lautner! HAWT! Sorry skinny jeans! (Speaking of, I would have less trouble fitting into my skinny jeans if I didn't consider Caramel Apples my "daily serving of fruit." UN-HAWT!)
I did find it odd that there were Twilight birthday party supplies... I mean, vampires, birthday... Isn't that ironic, don'tcha thing? I like how in the pic, the cups contain something RED. Think they did that on purpose or was it a happy accident? Ugh. Kristen Stewart's gloomy mug on the big plates is enough to make me lose my appetite. Also, is this really Twilight's audience? I know teens are into it, but theme b-day parties like this are usually for little kids. Are little kids into Twilight? And if so, should we as a society be worried?

They slap Twilight on a lot of junk. I mean a coffee mug? Really? You know the only person who'd use that is the crazy cat lady in your office, who probably writes Twilight fanfic in her lonely, lonley spare time, of which she has plenty. She's probably over in her cube right now, sipping from her Twilight mug, writing fanfic about Edward becoming captivated by this gorgeous new, slightly older woman, who has recently moved to town and who happens to have the same name as said writer. Go check, I'll wait.

What'd I tell ya?

Anyway, I had a point. They slap Twilight on a effen lot of junk, but this...

Shudder! Scariest thing this Halloween!

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