Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tune-In Tuesday 11-09-10 BRAVO BRAVO!!! (Also, Glee.)

This week's Real Housewives of ATL was a CLASSIC!!! One of the best of any season! First, Keeyum decided to resume her music career and once again didn't actually want to sing. And then when she did, it was shitteous as usual! In fact, it may have been even WORSE than I have ever heard her squawk! Khandi tried to "challenge" her, but giiiiiiiiiiiirl, you know that bitch can't sing! Keeyum and NeNe also decided they didn't LIKE the song. Bitchez, be thankful she was even willing to waste time on your talent-free ass!
The break-out new cast member is that "bourgetto" (bourgeois + ghetto) nut job, Phaedra! I mean, I freakin' hate her, but at the same time, she brings SO MUCH DRAMA to the show, which it is sorely lacking lately. Sheree's storyline is a total snore and she almost never shares the screen with the other wives. And poor Cynthia, the other new girl, seems like a cool chick, but her storyline with her older fiance is soooooo boring. Even NeNe is suffering a tad, because she and her husband are in the process of splitting up. Dooooowwwwwneeeerrrr! I miss fun and sassy NeNe! But girl, keep ya chin up!

But Phaedra! What a hoity-toity bitch! She's so smug and pretentious, I just want to slap her! But she is SOOOOO tacky and ghetto! Over-the-top ostentatiousness (not a word) is NOTHING to be stuck up about. Just look at the Jersey Wives! Man, I loved her silly, dog and pony show of a baby shower. Ballet dancers and flowers and her gaudy entrance with eyelid crystals and flowers in her hair. Oh and did I mention, she's having a boy?!

What's also hilarious is how in denial she is about her baby! She alleges that she is seven months pregnant, when she is clearly beyond that! I think the implication is that Miss Stuck Up got knocked up before she was married and possibly that the father isn't even her husband/ex-con Apollo. Oh, did I mention, she's a lawyer?! SO FUNNY!!!
But surprisingly, who knew, but Top Chef Just Desserts is also bringing the MAD DRAMA!!! It makes that whole season of regular Top Chef with Marcel PALE in comparison!
FIRST, in the beginning we meet Seth Caro... professional PSYCHO!!! He was such a drama queen little bitch, but things went to lightspeed when during a challenge, they had to create a dessert using Breyer's ice cream. He flipped the fuck out, when he found out he couldn't make his own ice cream. Then it was revealed that rather than have some paper pastry cups he brought from home be placed in the Top Chef Pantry for all to use, he threw them away. Then he FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT AGAIN, because he was demanding that the producers replace them... the ones he, himself, threw away... out of SPITE!!! So then... he fucking gives himself a panic attack and collapses and has to be rushed to the hospital! NUT JOB!!! Good riddance! He is the TOP CRAZIEST contestant I have ever seen on a competition show! And there have been some DOOZIES!!!

So now, the big dramz is the rivalry between alpha male douche bag, Morgan......and nice, but-you-can-tell-he's-still-kinda-cocky, Yigit.Yigit has won himself quite a following with his rosy apple cheeks and boyish looks, but I dunno, there's something about the way his neck and head are the same width that makes me think of...
...and once I saw the resemblance I can't NOT see it.
These two haaaaaaaaate each other. Morgan's such a giant prick, I'm sure they all hate him, but I must admit, he ain't hard on the eyes. But the way they fucking singled each other out and the way they squabble, I'm just waiting for them to rip each other's clothes off and have the roughest, angriest, filthiest grudge sex EVER!!! (Let's hope the Bravo film crews capture THAT!) Once again, once I came to this conclusion, I can't not think it, so every time they get into one of their altercations, I'm just TOTALLY waiting for it to happen! It HAS to happen now!

I FREAKING LOVE THIS VERSION OF TEENAGE DREAM FROM TONIGHT'S GLEE!!! I've watched the video like a dozen times and d.l.'ed the full-length version (along with the rest of the new songs from tonight's episode, which oddly number only four). (I prefer the album version, because I felt the way they chopped it up in the video is a bit awkward.) Welcome aboard, Darren Criss! He has a really lovely, smooth tone to his voice and I love that this actually sounds like a real choir song, not a slavish recreation of the original radio version, which is something that happens too often on this show.
You are a welcome addition, sir! Glee is getting it right with the "extra" characters this season, unlike fucking Bitchface from the last. What was all that hype about Cherise/"Sunshine" joining the cast? She appeared ONCE and I nearly forgot she was even on it!
Darren is cute but producers are being elusive as to whether or not there will be anything romantic between him and Kurt. Plus, I still suspect that Sam may still wind up in that role, so we'll see. He'd better, because Sam + Quinn = snooooooze!!! Could there be a more boring pairing?!
Unfortunately, I kinda hate the other three new songs. FUCK REGGAE!!! I fucking haaaaaaate reggae!!! And I can tell this is going to be the last song of the show. It sounds like they are ripping off their own idea and recreating the Girls vs. Boys Mashup Duel from last season. As much as I love a good mashup, at this point, if I could travel back in time and kill the person who invented them, I SO would, just because Glee doesn't know well enough to LET IT DIE!!! The first two they did kicked ass, but that was enough! STOP DOING THEM! Just sing ONE song and do it well! And these are BAD! The girls do "Livin' On A Prayer"/"Start Me Up" while the boys massacre "Stop In The Name Of Love"/"Free Your Mind."

I know a lot of people hated the Rocky Horror episode, but I didn't mind it at all. The criticisms I read, I agreed with, it's just that the weak points didn't bother me as much as they did others. And I TOTALLY dug the songs! Mercedes' "Sweet Transvestite" was my favorite performance of the show, even though on the TV version, they had Will and Emma fuck up the "Antici.... pation" line. Oh well, I still put it on my Halloween mix!

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