Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day... In Honor of Women...

Happy Mother's Day! To me as much as anyone. Look, I got this wicked Wonder Woman apron! Can I get Wonder Woman on like EVERY household item I require? Pans? Towels? Toilet scrubber?

I actually got a "Happy Mother's Day" from Dylan although he didn't mean it. He actually meant it more in a "by the way, it's Mother's Day" but whatever, I'll take what I can get. We went to Chicago this weekend, for David's Christmas present, tickets to the Reds/Cubs game at Wrigley Field. I didn't go to that! But I did some shopping and among the items I picked up this weekend were the Toys R Us exclusive X-Men boxed set... there just happened to be a TRU in Po'Dunk, IN where we stopped to have a delightful Mother's day brunch at McDonald's. Shut up, it was like noon, I'm calling it brunch! This was after we realized trying to eat at an actual breakfast restaurant on Monther's Day was a fool's errand. So after we ate, I ran into TRU which was directly behind it, found the LAST X-Men set, which had had the front of the box ripped off. I wish I'd had more selection, but at least they took 10% off.
In Chicago, at my favorite Chicago destination, Gaymart in Boystown, I bought the Star Sapphire GL Classics figure. Mine doesn't look this nice. Her face looks like Cher's and her eyes are all wonky, like cockeyed and I think one is larger than the other. And her tiara/mask is lavender instead of fuchsia like the rest of her costume. I probably should have examined her more closely, but I felt like the store's proprietor was giving me the stink eye because I was the only person in the store and I was perusing everything there and he was just waiting for me to grab the boxed set of all the Dr. Whos and make a break for it. Sucka, I don't even LIKE Dr. Who!
I got home and opened it and realized I hadn't really examined her at all before buying her and I was just... displeased. Beyond the bad eye paint... her costume just makes me uncomfortable. I mean, FOR REAL?! I just can't fathom how male comic creator's think. The straight ones, I mean. YES, it's fantasy, YES, they want to appeal to horny male nerds, but this is just ridiculous! And the fact that she just flies around looking like this nonchalantly... don't try feeding me that empowerment bullshit! This is just pervy objectification.

I'm holding out hope that they'll issue a figure later of with her in her original costume. Honestly, her original suit was already revealing! V-neck, bare legs. YET, look at it now and it looks positively FRUMPY! Like geez, loosen up! What are you, like an Amish super villain? Now she rocks some random pieces of ribbon armor and you can see her navel and reverse boob cleavage. Christina Aguilera wears more than that! THINK ABOUT THAT!

In honor of Mother's Day, I think comic book creators should keep in mind what their mothers would think if they were to present their designs to them for approval. I'm pretty sure Ethan Van Sciver (who I believe designed SS's current suit) would have been grounded and forced to say a few Hail Maries.

And just like with Green Lantern, there are more than one! There are several Star Sapphires from across the known universe... and they pretty much all look the same way, sluttin' it up across space, claiming to serve the forces of love. You could TOTES make that into a Skinemax movie and NOT EVEN CHANGE A THING!

Wonder Woman was a Star Sapphire for a couple of days. Like HER costume needed to be more revealing. Was she like, "Great Hera! There is too much fabric on my bodice! No one can see my Amazonian six-pack!" I love the completely capricious knee cut-outs, too. "I need to protect my thighs! But my knees? Nah! Scraped knees are cool!"

There's also the whole double standard thing. You'd never see Green Lantern Hal Jordan wearing this ridiculous costume:
Except in fan art. He should be beefier, I think.
Love this! Star Sapphire's costume tweaked to make it more close to Green Lantern's, with a black bodysuit underneath the leotard part. And Green Lantern, once again, wearing something NO straight male artist would ever depict him in. In fact, they'd probably think it was gross and recoil from it. Yeah, let that one sink in.

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