Friday, March 18, 2011


Let's see if I can make this train of thought in any way coherent. I was watching Kathy Griffin's latest standup special and she mentioned going to the Grammies and seeing batshit crazy Whitney Houston, whom she has made fun of relentlessly over the years. Which made me think, "Hey, didn't someone say something about remaking The Bodyguard? Hopefully that went away." Mind you... I will watch The Bodyguard anytime it's on Lifetime for two bits. Number one, which I generally miss because it's toward the beginning of the movie, but let me put it this way: "I got the stuff that you want! I got the thing that you need! I got more than enough! To make you drop to your knees! Cuz I'm the Queen of the Night! Queen of the Night! Oh yeah! Oh YEAH! OH YEEEEEAAAA-YAY-EE-YAY-EE_YEAAAAAAAH!" Then, the second is just to hear that crescendo in "I Will Always Love You" which plays over the credits, so then I have to sit through the whole shitty movie... seriously, it's not even guilty-pleasure bad, it's just really shitty!... but you know what part, I'm talking about, the "I hope... life treats you kind... And I hope... you have way you... you dreeeeeeeeeaaaaaamed of! And I wish TO YOU JOY... and happiness... but above all this... I wish you looooo... ooooove..." you know the part that comes after that, EXCEPT last time I watched it, they CUT IT OFF RIGHT THERE!!! No BOOM! No "AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..." I was LIVID!!! I jumped out of my seat, and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I sat through all that shit, and I didn't even get my BOOM?! Fuck you, Lifetime! I will carry that scar around with me for the rest of my life! Traumatized!

Okay, so that thought, led me to consider Kevin Costner. Remember when he was like the biggest male star in Hollywood? Then... it was like EVERYONE realized this guy was a walking piece of plywood and collectively forgot about him. I was like, "God that guy sucked! Was he ever good in anything?" I can't come up with anything, but I haven't seen JFK. (This was also around the time Sharon Stone was like the biggest actress in Hollywood and then the same exact thing happened to her, too! Coincidence? Hmmmm?) So then I was like, "Oh well, at least we're done with him now."

Oh, by the way, guess who's playing Superman's dad in the new reboot.
Fuuuuuuuck! Hopefully, he won't drink his own pee in this one, but you never know.

I was tempted to post this yesterday for St. Patrick's, but I felt I was pushing my luck with THREE posts, so I'll just tack it on here, Nathan Fillion in a Green Lantern tee on the cover of EW. Topless Robot commented that he looks awkwardly posed, but dammit, it's Nathan Fillion! My only complaint is he's over-dressed!

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